nevertheless~

part 78

HARDIN’S POV

Night falls upon us as we sit in the living room, me and Adam doing his homework with him and I watch Tessa come to life as she sits and bickers about wine with her father, who clearly has had a bit to drink. In the afternoon, after my talk with Richard, Tessa and he decided that they would together need to do something about this Carol situation and they made up for lost time in heaps of sorrys and expositions.

“You know, she really loves you”, her brother says as I draw a diagram for him.

“I know. She’s told me that, for the record.”, I say.

“She has never brought a boyfriend to dad. Dad rejected Zed, the first time he ever saw him. He literally said and I quote, "That man is as good as water from the sewage is for drinking’. ”, he quotes dramatically and I believe him. He is right, that man in sewage water. Walking into that room, the way he spoke, the way he looked at Tessa, I could see the dirty thoughts run inside his head through his eyes, that prick.

“What's the deal with them though?”, I ask.

“Carol wanted Zed to be the one to marry Tess. Zed’s father has 4 factories in the whole nation, so she wanted Tessa to be the one to get it, Zed was the route for that because he’d get the inheritance and then they would live happily ever after.”, he quotes sarcastically.

“Ugh-huh. What did you think of him?”, I ask.

“I think, my sister isn’t the consideration for 4 factories. Zed doesn’t deserve her. She’s far too good for any man.”, he says as he goes back to concentrating.

“Am I? Am I deserving of your sister?”, I ask not knowing what and how the answer will affect me.

“Ofcourse, jeez. Have you seen how happy she is right now? It’s because of you. You shouldn’t feel threatened by Zed. You’re like one thousand percent better than him. If Zed is sewage water, you’re the fancy volcanic water that costs $40 per bottle. Don’t sell yourself short. My sister wouldn’t ever have the courage to speak to Carol like she did today and neither would she ever come up to better what went wrong between her and dad.”, he says as he installs some confidence in me.

“Thanks”, I feel happy to have been such an effect on her and now I get to hear this as high praise from her family.

“Pasta’s done”, Richard says and we both get up.

“Dad, it’s going to topple over, your hands”, Tessa shrieks as she takes over the pot from which Richard serves and for the first time since last week I feel shock run through my heart out of happiness. I hadn’t heard her voice in so long to hear such a high pitched noise out of her, as her laughter sent jolts up my heart, so much I wanna cage it in a bottle and drink from it like an old aged wine in installments of little sips, forever and more.

“I got this. You sit”, she takes over and Richard comes to sit at the dining table.

“Do you need a GLASS HARDIN!?”, Richard yells drunkenly.

“No. I don’t feel like drinking”, I say as he takes a chair.

“You don’t drink, eh bri’ish boy?”, mocks my accent as he takes a big gulp from his glass. I see where Tessa gets her humor from, and her drinking tolerance or the lack thereof from.

“I do, just not today. And should you be drinking at all?”, I joke back at him. Jokes like these don’t even hurt when I see Tessa smile back at them.

“Don’t mind me. It’s very refreshing to hear your accent in this stupid suburban town”, he says, drinking down his glass in one go.

“It’s alright, but I think you’ve had enough to drink. I don’t think you should drink just now. I mean, just out of surgery, is it advisable?”, I ask, holding his glass for him, careful he doesn’t hit himself.

“He’s not wrong, can you drink dad?”, Tessa asks, bringing his plate for him, and centering it towards him.

“I can Tessie. Don’t worry. Your old man’s been taking care of himself.”, he says as he smiles at her and Tessa leans upwards to kiss his cheek sweetly. One I know she hopes tells Richard that she forgives him and still is finding in her heart to love him.

I am good knowing that Tessa has corrected her ways with her family but I still am unsure what she will do with Carol. I know the father-daughter duo has cooked up some plans that involve getting Carol some help in actually good authoritative hands but I wanna know what’s happening in her head. I want to know what she’s thinking, how fast her thoughts are rushing, how she feels since afternoon. Is she okay? If she wants to sit down and talk, or needs arms to cry in? If she is faking it now or is she genuinely happy? How did she come to forgive Richard so easily? And if she really had?

Did she miss me? Did she love me? Does she love me? Do I love her, fuck I do and I can’t help thinking, what’s going to happen to us? Does she even want us now? Does she want me? Why did she leave? Are we done? Did she find someone else to give my love to? I wanna know where we stand if she thinks about me and us, and all those questions get answered when she sets my dish in front of me and kisses my cheek too.

You know how on scorching hot soil, if you splash water, the water sizzles up, or how in snow, when you lay your foot ever so softly in it, the snow melts around and soaks your shoes, or how in sponge when you pour water and the foam absorbs every drop, I feel like that soil, the snow and the sponge, sizzling up, soaking in and absorbing the first gesture of love she has shown towards me, even if in the form of a cheek kiss. I will take all the cheek kisses in the world from her if it means I feel that way again.

Selfishly I find myself saying, “You missed here?”, I turn my other cheek around and point at it, waiting for a kiss like a little boy and feel the most joy when she does land a soft kiss there and I hear a roar of laughter from the three but it fills me with happiness to get a kiss.

********************
“You guys can take the downstairs room, it’s the only empty room in the house.”, Richard says as he helps himself to the bedroom. After a few rounds of more wine and some ice cream later, Everyone is downright out for the night, none of us having the energy to be able to keep our eyes open.

“Right. Thank you for your hospitality Richard”, I say, as I help him climb the stairs in the drunk condition. The only sober person in the house is me.

“Oh shut it. You’re my daughter's boyfriend, of course I’d have you at home.” he says and climbs the rest on his own, leaving us for the night.

“Goodnighty, Tessie”, he laughs as he goes to lay.

“Goodnight”, she mouths as we get into our room.