TESSA'S POV
"Alright, my hands are hurting are we done clicking pictures of the sky?", he whines as I stand here, holding my hand to my lips and kissing the Eiffel tower from afar. As might be the case, I have been avoiding trying to talk about my life to Hardin. It's not easy to speak to Hardin, about my old life, only the thing is...I want to. My heart wants to open up to him only it feels like very naked. We sure have the naked truth cookies between us going on, but I don't think I am ready to be this naked with him about my feelings. He seems to have a direct line with my emotions and how I feel, which makes this scary.
When you have someone connected to you so deeply and intimately you it makes you wonder if they are sure about you. It makes you wonder, if you told them your dark truths what if they didn't accept you for who you are, if they will like it or not. If you scare them as much as you are about telling them that.
"One more? Please?", I beg sweetly, making a face to make his heart melt.
"You know, 30 is an even number I believe, 31 will make it odd.", he says, switching my phone off and putting it in his coat's pocket, right in front of my eyes to make it clear to me that I am not allowed another photograph.
"OCD much?", I tease him as I walk away from my spot.
"Oh la la. Non", he says, in a French accent to tease me.
"Right, now if you are finished, trying to wiggle your way out of it?", he says, coming to me, meeting me halfway at the bridges side.
"Wiggle out of what?", I sound dubious but I am desperate.
"This...talk or whatever we are gonna make it.", he says.
Right. Collect yourself Tessa, it's gotta happen someday. You can't expect the guy to just be in the dark the whole time. So, I say a solemn prayer and get ahead with this thing.
"Right. What do you wanna know about me? There's a lot of it and less time, so we gotta chop it down you know. With what, 15 minutes we have. we have to make it quick.", I warn him.
"I don't care. 15 minutes is enough for today. If I get 15 minutes with you each day, to know you I think I will die a happy man."
"Alright, Mister. Shoot me.", I say, spreading me hand on my either sides, making me look like an open target.
"Where are you from?"
"Washington. I moved to Seattle at 20 to start anew, but my family goes back to Washington."
"Schooling from there too?", I nod.
"Any memories from washington? Like, striking ones.", he asks. Other than the frequent nightmares, not much memories I have of washington.
"Not really."
"Why did you want to start anew?", he asks. Oh boy. This question in and I am already losing my guard.
"Look, there's no easy way to say this one, but I wasn't happy with my life and I needed to be away from my family because it felt like, my melancholy; was affecting them and it became a vicious cycle of arguments and negativity so, I had to cut ties."
"Was this with...your mother?", he asks hesitantly. His tone not sure if he even has the authority to ask me about this.
"Yes. A bigger part of it has been her. She was a lot to deal with when I was growing up.", I admit.
"Yeah. I figured.", he nods his head, avoiding my gaze so I don't feel caged in on the spot.
"What about your friendships back home?"
"I had friends. I was...kind of the popular girl in the school as well, but it wasn't actually any good you know. I was in cheerleading squad in the school so that made me popular, but at what cost? Who remembers the person in the side of the cheer squad holding a pom pom", I laugh at the shitty recollection of those times.
"My two closest friends were with me until I moved, and after that it's just been talking on and off with them. They are still in touch, but not as close anymore.". I say giddily at the mention of Georgia and Rosie.
"I could show you a picture of them. Those two girls got together last year around July 4th so they had face timed me, and we have a bunch of photos from then.", I ask for my phone from him, which he passes to me silently. I like that when I am happy he is quiet, he let's me feel the happy moments and not steal them away from me.
"Here's them. The one in the blue shirt and black pants, she's Rosie. She's a lawyer, works in some law firm in Massachusetts, and the one of the left of her, is her girlfriend, Georgia. She's into Hotel Management in Massachusetts.".
"They're doing great in life. Good for them.", he says proudly.
"They deserve it. Rosie most of us. She was very heavily bullied in school for being a lesbian, people said some of the worst thing to her and more because she was in cheer too. So, you can imagine the kind of stuff that would come out of the mouths of 16-year-olds.", I explain.
"Right, but what about you?", he asks.
"What about me?".
"Any kids were mean to you? Whose ass do I need beat up? Any bitches we can talk shit on?", he says, poking me on the side, making it light hearted for me, as light hearted as it can get.
"There was one guy, who took me to prom and he wanted to take me home, and we did go. We went to mine and after the night he left and didn't speak to me for the whole until I graduated in college. Yeah, College. I was hoping that he'd contact me until college.", I say, my embarrassment showing clearly in my words.
"What the fuck? Who was he?", he asks.
"Just a guy. I mean, boys are boys. They are fucking mean. After this I was with Nash, who was, what I thought in my head, absolutely my first love but it ended up in a terrific heartbreak.", I avoid his question about Zed.
"Nash. Right. Our...", he understandingly nods, taking into account the name : - NASH.
"Our office boy who...has changed his branch recently from Seattle to Florida.", I accept.
"Can't believe you settled for an office boy. I was right there in front of you the whole time.", he says, successfully distracted from his earlier question about Zed. Works in my favour.
"I didn't know you. You were an asshole to me. Never nice. Always frowny. You even rejected me, when I got everyone some cookies for Christmas. I then tried to speak to you and you didn't say more than 5 worded sentences to me. Then after my first client meeting, which you jumped into way too frequently for my liking, you basically hated me the whole while. You liked to tease me about everything, you were cold and unfeeling, mean and groanish...and....mh", I am stupidly silenced by Hardin when he pulls me by a finger under my chin to kiss me as I rant and remind Hardin about what an asshole he was to me.
His cold hands slide onto the back of my coat, and even under two layers I can feel his chill fingertips over my back and how they pull me further into his body as he continues his romantic game on my lips. God, if only I told him so more truth, he wouldn't be kissing me right now.
"You talk so much, baby", he kisses me once after he pulls away and says the same.
"You know, for someone I am in love with, the person I love, sure does hate my guts.", he kisses the button of my nose.
"Hardin...", I begin.
"Tess. We've already been through this, I love you and I say this not to force your feelings for me, I say this, because it's a reassurance for the both of us, that what I feel, won't change at all.", he says, holding me still close to him, in his tight grip.
"I was saying, that it's about to be 4 o'clock. We need to be back at out desks.", I smile crookedly, catching him off.
"So you don't mind me saying 'I love you'?", he asks, like it even is a question.
"Non, mon cherie.", I admit, kissing him once again to seal the glimmer he says in my eyes.
God, I am so gone.
YOU ARE READING
nevertheless~
FanfictionHardin, an ambitious, worker in publishing, determined to tell untold stories, who has a background of a family that's broken into pieces. Tessa, a dance enthusiast, under the influence of her mother's resentments, makes so many wrong choices, that...
