nevertheless~

part 50

HARDIN'S POV.

It's the middle of the night when I am still sitting on the much large and much too expensive couch of the front foyer when someone starts to shake my arm. Lightly, yet firmly with a demanding grip.

"Let me be, Tess", I say, my voice barely coming out from how much my vocal cords have been irritated.

"Sir. Sir we can't let you sleep here?", the same voice says and this time, the shaking on the arm follows a bit harshly, coldly almost.

"What?", I groan and turn in the seat, to find a lady, one from the reception I assume, standing close by on the side of the couch.

"Sir, it's far too late in the night, you can't stay here."

"Uh, yeah. I'm sorry. I'll...uh...", I try to form a sensible sentence but only the words seem like colours to me, and speaking seems too difficult.

"Sir, are you a guest here?", she asks and I give her a fair nod.

"What room are you staying in?", she asks, sweetly and I partially feel bad for making her have to look after me too.

"I'm on the fifth floor, I don't have my keys, however. I'm so sorry", I say, rubbing my neck trying to ease the pain it has suffered due to hanging from the neck of the couch. How long has it been?

"I'll give you a spare sir, but you have to return upstairs before it's any later.", she says and walks over to her desk, and I look around the room, trying to find a clock to be reminded I have a wrist watch and I see that it's nearly 3 in the morning. Dear, god, how did I pass out?

The last thing I remember was having ice cream with Claudia, and 2 drinks after that. That's all I can think of as of right now. I also remember that I came over here, was sitting here and thinking about what happened with me and Tess, to then pass out somehow.

"Sir, this is your spare. Please, when, if you leave the room tomorrow, drop them here.", she hands me a spare card of the room, and that becomes my cue to get the fuck out of here.

"Thank you.", I appreciate her help and I take the coat which was wrapped around me and make my way to the elevator.

I am still in a bit of a toss about how things are between me and Tessa. She's upset, I am upset, I don't know what and how to fix things between us, I don't know if she would want to fix things between us. She doesn't even feel the same as I do, so I don't even know if she even wants to continue to do anything between us.

I get in the elevator and press the floor keys on the keypad and then I end up pressing 4 and 6 along with 5. I'm so sleepy and tired. I don't really have any sense of coordination in my body right now. How can it be that you go so much to someone, that they have occupied every single corner of your brain, they understand you in ways you don't think anyone else can or anyone else has, and then you tell them, that you love them and they...they don't care about it.

I wait on the 4th floor for a bit, and the doors open and something inside me clicks. Something that pushes me ahead to walk out into the hallway of the 4th floor. I don't know with what intention I am getting here, I don't know with what idea I am walking towards the door that I going to go to, but I do.

I knock on the door twice and I am so apologetic right now, but more than that I am desperate. I am desperate to know what I can do to fix this thing up. I have never been the kind of person who will give up. I never give up on a merger and amalgamation deal in the office, so how can I give up on her and mostly, how can I give up on us. I have never felt this love before, I have never been in this deep, and I have never wanted anyone more than this, and it just makes sense, when you fall this deep, you don't come out without a fight.