A long lane at night

1.14. BLESSING

** BRIAN **

I NEEDED TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT. I WANTED TO invite Allan to move in with me, but first I wanted to talk to Mama Maggie about it. She was important and I wanted her to know she was. Thank God it all happened during the final week of the year, so Allan was pretty busy at work.

'One minute!' Maggie's voice came from inside the house again like on Christmas eve. Then, I had thought she was expecting me, but now I started to wonder if that's how she answered to every knock. As I waited, I allowed myself to amusingly imagine different people's reactions to her scream.

'Brian, my child,' she looked surprised to see me. 'I didn't think I'd be seeing you so soon. Is everything okay? Have you forgotten something?'

'I'm okay, thanks for asking. Forgot something? That's a way to put it. Can I come in?'

'Of course, my child. Of course. Come on into the kitchen, I'll make you a nice leftover shank sandwich.'

'Oh, sweet. Thank you.'

I sat next to her as she heated and sliced the meat Allan had cooked two nights before and I was happily listening to her small rants about the organisation of a church tea they were about to have before the year ended. However, when she placed the plate with two very well served sandwiches in front of me, she was quick to change the subject.

'Now eat. I imagine how desperate you must be to have some alone time. I keep telling him, I do. I warn him not to go to your house that often, that forcing you to his company will only push you away, but he won't listen!'

The only reason I let her go on talking about that was my mouth full of that awesome sandwich.

'Mama Maggie,' calling her like that produced the exact effect I was hoping for and she stopped talking, looking at me rather peacefully. 'All of the times Allan has been to my flat was per my invitation,' her expression quickly changed to one of surprise.

'Oh. But still, my child. Missing one another is important. If only I—' she cleared her throat, quickly fighting off the shade of darkness that had come over her eyes and opened up a smile before she continued. She did all that very fast, but for me to see the pain of her memories like that was distressful. Not only I was growing very fond of her, but she and Allan looked extremely alike and for one second, I thought I would be damned if I ever caused him to carry that look. 'Here. Let me get you some soda.'

'Thank you, Mama. As I was saying,' I hoped I didn't sound too insensitive, but I also hoped she wouldn't think I was preying on her personal problems, 'Allan has only been to my flat under my request and I would like that to change. I love your son very much and I want to be a bigger part of his life. I want us to start building our future together. So, for now, I would like to have your blessing and ask him to move in with me.'

She was staring blankly at me, her mouth open in the shape of an o. She didn't even dare to blink.

'Please, Mama,' I said trying to prevent a storm I wasn't quite sure would come. You never know with her. 'Don't think I'm trying to steal him from you. You'll always be a huge part of our lives.'

'Oh, I know that, my child. I know how much you love him and how much you are loved in return. I am positive you will be very happy together. Still, you can't really judge a mother for seeing all of her moments with her child in front of her when something so big happens.'

'Do you think he'll accept it, Mama?'

'I know he will. When are you asking him?'

'I thought I'd wait for the New Year, you know. For all the symbolic flair.'