A long lane at night

1.15. MEMORIES

** ALLAN **

BRIAN AND I HAD BEEN LIVING TOGETHER FOR A month when a strange and life-changing conversation took place.

'Brian, my love?' I called him from the kitchen, walking to the door that led to the living room and staring at the couch where he was trying to play the kart game, sitting with spread legs, wearing only underwear. I took a second or two admiring the view before I continued. 'When are we going to shop for grocers? I want to get some apple tea.'

He raised his head to look at my direction.

'Allan, you spent a full year coming here almost on a daily basis and you've been living here for a month now. When have you ever seen a single shopping bag in this flat?'

The realisation hit me slowly as I searched my memory for any trace of evidence that suggested that this boy did some shopping. I couldn't find any.

'How ... how can you even afford it? Sorry. Sorry. It's none of my business.'

He set the blue joystick aside and called me.

'Come here. Come sit on my lap.'

'Brian, don't try to distract me with sex.'

He laughed.

'I won't. I promise. I just want to be close to you. Come.'

'Brian, you're hard,' I sighed when I sat on his lap, knees on the couch, facing him.

'Well, I can't really help it, can I? You're too sexy. But I want to talk to you about something important first.'

Oh boy. Was he going to tell me off?

'I'm sorry, baby. I shouldn't have asked. It just took me by surprise, that's all.'

'Allan, will you listen to me or will you continue to try and guess what I want to say?'

'Sorry.'

'Okay. Let's remember some basic things. You and I live here. Together. Everything inside this flat is my responsibility to the same degree as it is yours. You are my partner. The man I love and who I chose to navigate through life with. There is no such thing as something that isn't one or the other's business. Was I clear?'

'Crystal.'

'Good. To answer your question, I inherited some money from my grandparents, not only our flat. There are the fares I get from teaching piano and the final part are royalties I get from all the recordings I did during my career. Some songs also had me credited as composer, so that's an extra. You know I'm not a big spender and I already have some safe investments and it's not like we're not making anything. You know how much of a disaster I am in the kitchen; all I know how to do is heat stuff on the microwave and even that sometimes backfires. So, the lunch you've been eating so far has been delivered and for dinner you and I always go out.'

I started feeling small. Before I noticed it, I was holding my own arms. I wanted to get off from his lap, but that man can always read right through me; he held my hands, making my arms loose and he continued with a soft voice.

'I know what you're thinking. I thought about you feeling this way when I started to seriously consider living with you. Yes, money does come mostly from only one end—'

'So how can you say we are equally responsible for the flat, then?'

'Because there is so much more to life than money. Money doesn't make this flat a home. We do. I learned this right after I moved in here. Or do you think this flat always looked like a young man lived in it? Hell no. That door you love so much always felt to me like a portal back in time. This was an old woman's house through and through. Only the piano corner was a little less feminine. When I moved in, I felt the need to honour my grandparents, but still make a home out of this flat. And I was very quick to understand it wasn't with money that I would do it. It was with warmth. And memories. And now we have each other, we can finally make this our home, with our own memories. The 'old lady's house' days for this flat are over and done. It's time for the 'young couple' days. And for that, yes, we are equally responsible for the flat. Come here. Don't cry.'

He hugged me and rested my head on his neck under his chin. When he realised that I had controlled the tears, he started slowly moving his hip.

'You know,' his voice sounded completely different as he started to tease me, 'not only memories. Remember. We also need warmth. What do you say we make things a little hotter?'

By then, I was already moving my hips in sync to his own moves, feeling him grow inside that thin layer of fabric.

Later that week, I took him to a supermarket a few blocks away from home. I had him take a kart and meet me at the door. It looked like he probably never even took notice of the shop before.

'I don't expect to make a chef out of you,' I said to him. 'One, I'm not that great a cook myself and two, you are already an exceptional pianist and partner, I don't think anyone can be perfect at three things.'

'I can easily think of three things you do to me which are totally perfect.'

'Why must you make me blush in public?'

'So everyone can see the sexy man they cannot have because he's mine.'

'Brian, focus.' I told him off, but winked at him, making him know I would do to him those three things he had mentioned as soon as we got back to the flat.

'Like I said, I don't want you to become an expert or anything. I don't even want you to change your habits, because honestly, they're totally harmless. But you did say you wanted our home to be made of memories. To meet this end, I want us to have some memories made in the kitchen. Deal?'

'Deal. What exactly do you have in mind?'

'Not much. But every once in a while, I want us to cook some meals together. Tonight, we'll make some lasagne. It's basically a pasta cake and it's much simpler than most people believe. I got us a list and we'll take things home and cook the dish together.'

'That sounds lovely,' he said with a smile and pecked my lips. 'Is your back-up plan ordering pizza?'

We were heading to the counter when he gasped saying he had forgotten something and that I should queue that he'd be back soon.

He took some good five minutes. I don't think whatever it could have been was actually hard to find, much more likely he got lost in an alien space.

As I started to load our products, he appeared holding three boxes of apple tea. I couldn't help but smile.