A long lane at night

2.18. HEAT Part 1

** JACK **

EACH DAY THAT I WASN'T LEGALLY ALLOWED TO BE close to Alice felt like stolen time. My family didn't give a crap about that rule and I spent every night at uncle Henry's, where Nate would take Alice to me. My dads, over one of their many visits, had already told me in detail their plan to legally adopt her should I not be acquitted after the hearing. I couldn't stop thanking them.

The evening before the damn hearing, Nate arrived at the city flat where I was pretending to live. I used to love this place so much, but now it felt like this awkward kind of prison. Every time this thought crossed my mind, I would scare it away by promising myself that Nate, Alice, and I would eventually spend leisure weekends here, enjoying what the big city had to offer. That night, I had my duffel bag ready on the couch, but Nate also arrived with one, so that sent me mixed feelings.

'Are you going somewhere?' I asked with raised brows after he entered the flat and kissed me.

'I am,' he said. 'Or I was. I got lost there. Anyway, I'm spending the night at my fiancé's city flat with him.'

I deflated. I really wanted to see Alice.

'Look at me, Jack,' Nate said. 'You're too stressed out, and that's fine. But let's not show Alice this side of you just yet, shall we? Let her still nurture her image of her almighty Dada.'

I deflated even further and wrapped myself around him.

'I'm so scared, Nate.'

For a few seconds, none of us said anything. We stayed rooted to the spot, right behind the flat black oak door.

Nate pulled me by the hand, sat on the couch and had me lie down with my head on his legs. He started caressing my hair and my cheeks while looking at my face.

'I have contrasting things I want to say to you,' he said.

'Start with the most unlikely one, then,' I said.

'I don't want to invalidate your feelings, Jack. I know the kind of pressure that's crushing you right now and I want you to understand I support you, but at the same time I want to remind you to have a little bit more faith in your future husband. Only an extremely blind or corrupt judge will have the guts to decide against you once I present my case.'

'You're between a rock and a hard place, aren't you?' I asked him, reaching out my hand to stroke his ear.

'It does feel like that sometimes, yes.'

'Aren't you scared, Munchkin?'

Nate looked taken aback by what I said. He seemed to be at a loss for words for a second, before he smiled.

'I love you so much, Sunbeam.'

There was something hidden behind that 'I love you' and I wanted to know what it was. When asked, Nate sighed before he elaborated and, as he spoke, he had to fight back a few tears.

'The last time you called me "Munchkin", it was before all of this started. You did say it once the day after, but you weren't yourself then, so I don't really count it. I don't count anything you said that morning. It was just now that I realised how much I missed it.'

I sat up and kissed him. I guess we had this habit of opening up in-between kisses. We never set out to do it, it just happened, since the very start.

'I just felt so estranged from you, Jack,' he said during the times I let him breathe. 'My rational side knew what it was doing, but I thought I would lose you, and I just got you. And you wouldn't want me to be Alice's dad anymore, even with you winning your case. And I would understand it, but I do love her like a father, I swear I do. Losing you both was breaking me, but I will never not do the right thing to protect you and her.'

As I kissed him, Nate let all of his frustrations out. In the midst of everything that happened, I forgot that Nate, who was almost coldly managing the entire situation, was also caught in the middle of this thunderstorm. It wasn't his grandmother who had died, but his future was also at stake.

I kissed Nate until he calmed down.

'Better?' I asked.

'A little, yes.'

'We have too much anxiety and expectation bubbling up inside of us and we need to let go of this excessive energy before we face the judge tomorrow.'

'I'm sorry, Jack, but I don't think I'm in the mood for rough sex tonight. Sweet loving, sure, but rough, I don't think so.'

I chuckled.

'Good to know you're up for some sex,' I said. 'Let's save it for later, shall we? Right now, I have something else in mind. Go wash your face, put on something more comfortable, really more comfortable, and be ready to leave in five minutes.'

All along, I refused to tell Nate where we were going. I drove us all the way ready to tease him, avoiding his questions by paying him a different compliment each time. He was already beet red before I made it to the main road.

Fifteen minutes later, I parked at a lot across from our destination. We were both wearing large tees and black loose shorts. Nate's butt looked great in those and I couldn't wait until we got home.

We entered the reception and were welcomed by a smiling man in a black shirt and a cross earring.

'Good evening, gentlemen,' he said. 'Are you here for the seven-thirty class?'

'Is it a basic one?' I asked. I could swear Nate was dying to ask what kind of class it was, but one look from me and he gave up. He knew he wouldn't be able to take a round of compliments in front of a complete stranger and he also knew I wouldn't care who was here to see it.

'It's not, but at seven forty-five we have a fifteen-minute basic instruction set followed by an hour of freestyle.'

'That's the gem! We'll take it. Cash, please.'

'All right,' the clerk said, taking our names. 'Size?'

'Eight and twelve for trainers,' I answer. The clerk looks at Nate's nervous face.

'First time?' He asks.

'For him yes,' I answer. 'But I'm not a regular.'

'Okay, then. So, let's do half a size up for you and a full size up for him?'

'Sounds perfect, thank you.'

'Standard black?' The clerk asked, being provocative with a raised eyebrow. It instigated my naughty side.

'Red,' I answered in a monotone, as if it were a common occurrence for me. The clerk smiled.

'Yes!' He exclaimed. 'If you're going to go for it, go all the way, honey!'

'My motto for life,' I winked and I could swear Nate would make me pay later.

'They will be ready and sanitised for you in about five minutes, just enough time for you to reach the studio,' the clerk said, clearly used to much more than this healthy and barely existent flirt. 'I suggest you both get their feel before class starts. Go all the way up to the fourth floor.'

'Thank you, have a good night,' I said.

'Thank you,' said Nate, totally clueless of what he was being thankful for.

We were reaching the landing on the fourth floor when Nate finally spoke.

'Jack, what exactly is red?'

'If you still haven't figured it out, you'll learn soon enough.' I stared at my wristwatch and saw we still had twenty minutes before the class started.