A long lane at night

2.9. IS IT A CRIME Part 3

#5: You find greatest joy in pleasing him

'Since we're on the topic of you being a successful lawyer, once we're married, I will still be paying you, right? I intend to do so, it's the right thing, after all, but something about it does feel like taking the money out of my right pocket and putting it in the left one. It will all come back to the same place eventually.'

'Jack, do you ever read your banking statements?'

'You're asking the language guy if he looks at numbers?'

I sigh in defeat.

'You haven't paid me a dime since we became engaged four months ago, Sunbeam. I never felt comfortable taking your money anyway, but I did put in some decent work, so I accepted it, but I won't take money from you now.'

Jack sat up and looked at me indignantly. The feeble moonlight made him look quite angry.

'Nate, your work is your work and I don't care if we've been married fifty years, if I require it, I will pay for it. You are excellent at what you do, you are worth every dime. Nate, for heaven's sake, you compiled data for all the social worker's visits we've had so far. Not even my dads were so thorough, they said so themselves!'

'I don't want to take—'

'Stop saying you're taking money from me, Nate! You're not stealing, you're doing a job, a tiresome yet perfectly-done one, you're excelling at it every day!' Jack dropped his head on my thigh again, but this time he didn't look at me. I didn't dare touch him. 'Damn it, my dads are always right! It's fucking annoying!'

'Why? What happened?'

'They told me you'd do this. They came to me one day you were gone for a meeting with a client. Both of them were on the same page, as they always are, and said that you wouldn't want to collect any more payments from me anymore. And I dismissed them because I didn't think you ... never mind, Nate, I can't finish this sentence without being offensive towards you, I'm sorry.'

'Go on, Jack. You want to call me "stupid" or "dumb" or something even worse because I'm the only lawyer you've ever met who puts his values over his commissions. I can guarantee you won't be the first. Go on.'

Jack combed his hands through his hair and his voice came with a hint of exasperation.

'It feels like I said something bad even though I didn't.'

'That's what happens when we know each other the way we do, Jack.'

'Why can't we be in sync like they are, then? I know we've been a couple for only four months, but we've been together forever, too. Why can't you see that I just want to acknowledge your true worth?'

'That's because you're taking me as a professional now, not as a person.'

'I'm taking you as everything!' He got so agitated he sat up again. 'That's what I asked of you the second time I proposed to you, Nate. Everything. The professional comes in the package.'

None of us said anything for a while. After a few moments, Jack pressed his hands on his face and it was only thanks to the silent night air that I could make out his muffled words.

'How about this?' He asked and finally moved his hands away. 'Don't take the money for yourself. Take it for your daughter, can you do that? Make a fund, accept all payments for everything you do, both from now on and for the four months you've already went with nothing, make some safe investments and let the money grow. You decide when and how to give it to her and, should we have any more kids, you decide if and how to split it. Deal?'