A long lane at night

2.16. IN MY BLOOD Part 2

Nate looked at me and it was clear he didn't know how to respond to that. If I know Nate like I sure do, he was already making his peace with my calling off the wedding, breaking up with him and telling him never to contact me or my family again.

'Our daughter,' I repeated. 'Don't you dare, Nate A.L. Wyatt, being absent from your daughter's first birthday, no matter how small we make it.'

Nate started to cry. I did too.

'I'm so—'

'NO!' Nate swallowed his tears and startled me. 'Don't apologise for the way you reacted. It was your most basic instinct. You've done absolutely nothing wrong and I have nothing to forgive you for. That means you have nothing to apologise for as well. Say you're sorry for anything you want in life, but not for protecting your child.'

I looked at him intently, but couldn't speak. I'm grateful he's a clever man.

'I'll use your own words against you here, Jack. "You don't need to ask to kiss me. I can't even think of a single scenario where I wouldn't want to fix things with you with a kiss." I've also been desperate to kiss you. Come here.'

For the second time this morning, I lifted Nate in my arms, but this time I didn't want to punch him, or hurt him. I wanted to kiss him. And so I did.

It was a very sloppy kiss, totally wet from the tears that were still running down both our faces. I could feel relief washing over Nate like a blissful flood.

'Make love to me, Nate.'

'Are you sure your mind is in the right state for this?'

'My mind isn't in the right state for anything, Nate. I can't have my daughter, I can't have my fathers. I can't even be there for them while they're also grieving. But I can have my fiancé. So, please, make love to me and make me forget all this at least for a moment.'

Nate kissed me even more deeply and we made the sweetest love on the bed he had slept for so many years growing up. Feeling him inside of me, touching his torso, feeling his weight between my legs made me focus entirely on what was happening and, for the first time since this fucking mess started, I didn't feel pain. I felt loved. I felt hope.

We were cuddling after we were done, but a naughty thought occurred to me and I started playing with him again.

'Tell me, Nate,' I said, 'how many times did you jerk off on this very bed thinking of me?'

'How much is five times a day for over seven years?'

I laughed. I can't believe I laughed! Nate's presence was enough to heal me and it was enough to make me laugh again. I didn't make the calculation, but I played with him harder.

'How about we make your teenage fantasies come true and this time I will jerk you off on this very bed?'

'Like you're already doing?'

'Precisely.'

An hour later, we were showering together. I was about to rub his back when his phone rang on the sink.

'I really need to take this,' he stepped out, butt naked, and picked up his phone. He took it away and didn't come back for at least fifteen minutes. He was fully dressed by then.

'Come out here and put something on. There have been some developments.'

'Good ones?'

'Helpful ones. Still sad, though. Come quick. I want to have a video call with your dads.'

Nate casted the screen to the living room TV and as soon as my dads appeared on it, we all started crying. It will take some time for our family to heal. I'm thankful I at least have some support now. I did feel entirely abandoned before.