A long lane at night

2.6. KEEP IT TOGETHER Part 1

** JACK **

A BUNCH OF POINTLESS QUESTIONS ARE RUNNING through my mind right now. And I call them pointless because I already have the answers to the most of them, so, come on, why is my brain doing it to itself? My anxiety transpires through my breathing when I park the car outside the house and I feel taken by excitement to be close to my daughter again. I know, I know. I did the right thing and I have absolutely zero regrets, but I miss her like crazy! She's probably sleeping again in one of her grandfathers' arms.

Her grandfathers.

In order to get to her, I have to pass by my dads.

My dads, who were always so right about everything. Of course they had to be right about Nate, too. It gets really frustrating at times. Not that I wished them to be wrong in this specific case, God no, but can they be at least wrong about something minor? Just once? Is it too much to ask?

The engine is probably cooling down already, but I keep my hands on the wheel and seem unable to move. Nate caresses me behind my ear and I lean in his hand. He's already done this more than once since yesterday and if he wants to continue doing this forever, I promise to never complain.

'The worst they can do is put on a smudge face and say "I told you so", Jack. Why are you afraid of them?'

I could tell Nate exactly what I was afraid of, but that would only turn us into two scaredy kitties instead of one.

'Fine,' he said, taking his hand out of my ear and using it to unbuckle his seat belt, 'don't tell me. I'll either find out soon enough or, most likely, you'll see you're worrying about nothing. Again. Jeez, I'm starting to understand how you feel when I do that. Come on, Jack. Alice's waiting for you.'

He said all that while reaching for the back seat, collecting the thermal bag he had put there when we left his flat, opening the door, and stepping out. As I saw him go round the back of the car, it hit me that there was nothing left to it, no supernatural force that could come and save me, so I followed him.

Last time I counted it, both Nate's and my keychain had the complete keys to my flat, his flat, my car, his car, Nate's office, my dads' house, his dad's house, and there was also one mysterious brass key we both had a copy each, that we had no idea where it came from or whatever it was that it opened. More often than not, we spent too long trying to find the right key, which was a complete nuisance if you were distracted by how hard you had to go to the bathroom. Days like today, though, when I wasn't at all ashamed to allow him to enter the lions' den first, made it all totally worth it.

'Good morning!' Nate called into the house, stepping into the kitchen and removing his shoes, just like we all do when we enter. It's a large house, so everyone who can freely come and go from it has the habit of making their presence known. He placed his thermal bag on the counter and made his way deeper into the place. His steps were muffled by another pair of ugly fluffy socks I once gave him. This one was puke green with purple blotches all over.

'Nate?' I called, getting closer to him after replacing my own shoes for flip flops and locking the kitchen door. After he hummed in response, I asked, 'I never paid much attention to it, but how often do I give you ugly socks?'

'As often as you come across them. Enough for me to not even remember the last time I bought myself a pair.'

'Hang on, are you telling me that all of your socks are ugly fluffy ones I gave you?'

'I am,' then he completely changed his voice when he saw who he was looking for. 'Oh, there she is! The best goddaughter in the whole planet!'

Alice was awake on dad Allan's arms, who came into the living room from dad Brian's music room. Nate was reaching for her, but her eyes found mine and she stared at me intently. I was the happiest father in the world right now.

'Hello, my princess,' I cooed at her, completely ignoring Nate's stretched arms and taking Alice in mine instead. 'How was your night, ruler of Candy Floss Land? Did your grandad already teach you how to play a sonata?' I had my nose close to her and I could feel her perfect baby smell. She was so cute and I was so proud to be her father.

'Hey, Munchkin,' I could see Nate's face going red and dad Allan shooting a good stare at the both of us. Dad Allan smiled with the corner of his lips and went quietly back to dad Brian's music room.

'Why are you still so far away?' He wasn't. He was literally by my side. 'I thought you were trying to hug her. Come closer.'

Nate wrapped one arm under mine, placing his hand behind the back of Alice's head. His other arm went behind my back, where he started to gently rub it, the thumb behind the baby's head mimicking the movement. We both stood there, staring at the little girl we were both holding. I was positive the look on my face was as silly as his. Maybe even more. I'll try not to be a competitive father. I'll try it tomorrow. At this moment, my look is a million times sillier than his.

'That was a very generous present, Jack,' my dad Brian's voice reached us from behind. Nate let go of us and I turned to face my father. He was speaking low so he wouldn't disturb Alice, but was that a pinch of irony I was getting from his voice? 'To compensate for, according to what your brothers told us last night, four years of keeping your fathers in the dark about your child, to allow us to have her for a night even before you had one for yourself.'

He was leaning against the casing of the door that led to his music room with his arms crossed in front of him. The sun was shining on his single streak of white hair that fell to the right of his face and he looked completely emotionless. I could feel Nate quietly tapping my back, as if to say he finally understood why I was afraid of facing my dads, but that he was there by my side to go through it with me. Ah, if only this was all I knew that was coming my way...

'You're in for a real treat, son. You have no idea what awaits you.' Dad Brian sounded menacing already. 'Good morning, Nate,' he said when dad Allan appeared by his side. Nate gulped and whispered 'good morning, Uncle Brian' in return. That right there was my dad Brian's full power in all of its glory and might. Both Nate and I were feeling as if we were only four years old again, being calmly told off for something bad we had done.

'I called your father last night,' dad Brian continued. Uncle Henry was their best friend in the whole world, but my dads always knew when or not to refer to him as 'your father' in front of Nate. I was right, this was going to go so bad for the two of us. He unfolded his arms and started to slowly walk towards Nate and I, a manic smile starting to appear across his face. We were rooted to the spot; we would never dare to take a single step away from him. 'He has gladly accepted our invitation for lunch today, so I expect a happy family gathering for what my eyes tell me will be a nice engagement lunch party. Because if you went behind our backs and got married last night, Jack Altridge-Leech, if you went as far as becoming a father AND a husband without telling anything at all to your fathers, I will disown you, Jack. I will make sure all you have to tend for your daughter is what you have conquered in life yourself, do you hear me, Jack? If what you want for your future is to cut your fathers off, I will be an obliging father and make your wish come true. If that was a once-in-a-lifetime mistake to never be made again, Jack, once and not again, then your father and I will be happy to plan your wedding and pay for everything, just like we have always dreamed. What will it be today, Jack? An engagement lunch party or a farewell one?'

I couldn't answer. I couldn't even stutter. My eyes were locked on my dad Brian's and I was more afraid for my life than I had ever been. He wasn't even blinking. He didn't scream, he didn't lose his cool. His deep and low voice remained as deep and low as always and the only reason my knees hadn't given in yet was because I was holding Alice, who had fallen back asleep.

'Nate?' Dad Brian rasped, not even looking at him. His eyes were still fixed on mine. Nate, however, was quick to answer. His voice carried all the fear I felt.