A long lane at night

2.16. IN MY BLOOD Part 1

** JACK **

I WOKE UP AND MY EYELIDS FELT SO HEAVY THAT I kept them closed for a second. My head was spinning, even though I was positive it had been a long while since I drank any alcohol. As I tried to remember what happened last night, the painful realisation of the memories hit me like a thunder and I bolted upwards, not even recognising where I was.

'Alice!' I screamed to the still unknown room, disregarding the fact that I knew she couldn't answer me.

'She's fine, Jack,' Nate's voice came to me and I saw him sitting on a chair next to the bed where I was sleeping. Now my whereabouts became clear and I understood I was standing in the middle of Nate's room at his father's flat. Downstairs is his record shop, but today is Sunday, so uncle Henry must be around here somewhere. Apparently, he isn't, for he hasn't come to see what was the matter.

'Thank God, Nate,' I reach for him, but he stands out his arm, preventing me from hugging him as I ask 'where is she?'

'I can't tell you that, Jack. Not now, at least.'

'What do you mean, Munchkin? Where's our daughter? Where's Alice, Nate?'

'I cannot tell you that just yet, Jack. You will need to listen to me first.'

'Where's Alice, Nate?'

'We can continue running in circles like that, or you can actually listen to me.'

'Where did you take my daughter?'

'Rephrasing won't help, Jack.'

'WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER?'

Nate didn't even flinch on the chair. There was a different aura about him.

'I have done absolutely nothing to her, other than making sure she is safe and out of harm's way.'

'Give me my daughter, Nate.'

'I can't do that.'

'Give me my daughter, Nate!'

I was getting closer and closer to him, but there was no affection in me for him right now.

'You need to understand first—'

I didn't want to listen to him. I grabbed him by his collar and I pulled him up and pressed him against the wall.

'I WON'T UNDERSTAND SHIT, NATE! YOU TOLD ME TO FUCKING TRUST YOU AND I FUCKING TRUSTED YOU! NOW I'LL ASK THIS ONE MORE TIME BEFORE YOU REGRET IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, DO YOU HEAR ME? WHERE?! IS?! MY?! DAUGHTER?!'

He didn't say anything. He stared deeply into my eyes, but he wasn't trying to work his charms to calm me down. He was simply telling me that he wouldn't change his answer.

My fists started shaking while still holding his collar and I could see his body shaking along with them. He wasn't scared or anything, he was just light enough to involuntarily follow the force I was applying on his body.

'I TRUSTED YOU!'

My face was close to his, but all that I wanted to do was to punch him.

'How dare you! How fucking dare you stand there all quiet! Our daughter's missing, Nate.'

'Our daughter is not missing, Jack. I know exactly where she is and who she is with. If you let me speak, you will know it too.'

'Are you kidding me right now? ARE YOU?! You took away my daughter, Nate? Of all the people you could have betrayed, you've decided to go for the lowest blow and do it to the man YOU SWORE TO MARRY?! YOU FUCKING TRAITOR!'

I held my fist ready to punch him right on his nose. One punch and there would be blood everywhere. One punch and he would forever regret crossing my path.

I stared into his eyes while I gathered my strength in my fist. He didn't flinch.

I let down my arm. I didn't have it in me to hurt Nate. Even after what he had just done to me.

'You deserve pain, Nate. I don't know how, but I guarantee you will feel all the pain you've caused me by taking my daughter away from me and you will feel it doubled. DOUBLE, NATE! DOUBLE! How could you?! How—?'

I sat on the bed, trying my hardest not to remember that it was his bed and the emotions were starting to win the war against me. My Nanna was dead and my daughter was gone, taken away by the man I had asked to father her with me. I had never felt this kind of treason before.

Right now, I felt like a scared little boy, defenceless, helpless. I needed the only people who could truly protect me.

'Where's my phone?' I asked, not finding it either in my pocket or anywhere close to me.

'You left it in your car yesterday. My dad parked your car safely last night and now he's gone to retrieve it. He will take it straight to you dads' house, but you mustn't go there. In fact, if you ever want to hold Alice in your arms again, you mustn't leave this flat or make your presence here known until I say otherwise.'

'What? You take away my daughter and now you're trying to tell me you've kidnapped me?'

'I did not do such thing. Jack, listen to me. I made a vow to you once that I would never be afraid of you again, remember? So, I am not afraid of you. Not even now, when you were about to smash my face, because you still think I deserve it. I did what I had to do to give you the best chance at getting your daughter back to you as soon as possible. You are in pain; you are grieving the loss of your beloved grandmother and you're also scared you might lose your daughter. I understand you, Jack. Just like everything else that has ever happened in your life, I was there by your side when it did. And I'm grateful I was nearby, otherwise we would have much more serious problems in our hands. Now, will you please listen to me? After you listen to everything I have to say, I'll accept any decision you make, no matter ... no matter how unhappy it makes me.'

'Nate, this isn't some silly disagreement where you would just talk some sense into me and then kiss my annoyance away. This is serious. This is my daughter we're talking about, the one thing in my life I'm willing to kill for.'

'I do remember once when you actually said you couldn't think of a problem you wouldn't want to fix with a kiss. Guess you discovered one now. Just listen to me, Jack. Hate me all you want afterwards, but at least let me explain.'

I passed my hand through the stubble around my mouth and down my chin and opened up my arms in clear defeat.

And explain, he did. He talked for almost an hour. He told me every little thing he had done since we arrived at that awful scene my brain can't seem to tune off from. He went into details about every move he made to ensure Alice would go back home, if not to me, at least right now to my dads.

'I am here to help you, Jack,' Nate said at last, and I believed him. I am still angry, I am so angry, but Nate was being Nate, taking care of me, doing the things that were right even when they were painful.

'There are things we can do,' Nate said. 'Workarounds that will make these upcoming days more bearable. That is why it's important you don't leave this flat just yet. No one outside the family knows you're here. I can't be in proximity to you, but as far as records go, I'm at my own father's house. And, as far as records go, you still have a permanent residence away from all of us, away from all of this.'

Comprehension clicked in my brain.

'I got your work things ready for you in the living room,' Nate went on. 'Go back to live at the flat, Jack. Whenever your dads want to see you, I'll pick you up at night and bring you here and take you back there before dawn. No one will pay you a surprise visit from five to eight.'

'I can't believe I'll miss Alice's birthday.'

'Aren't you listening to me? Let's be real here, Jack. Your family is grieving a huge loss, none of you will be in the mood for a big party. Have a small dinner here. Be with your daughter.'

'Our daughter.'