"What is this?"

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Me? I was the one who did this to them? To my friends? How could I trust myself now? Who was I anymore?

There was something on the inside of my head, knocking away at my brain. Some thought was trying o make itself known, but no matter how hard I tried to focus, I couldn't figure out what that thought was.

As these thoughts swirled in circles and the pounding continued, I saw that I had involuntarily walked the the Deadwood. I sat myself down right next to an old sturdy trunk. I pulled my knees up to my chest and put my head in my hands. I continued my thoughts.

How could I have done this? Was I a different person than I thought I was? Had I done worse things, and why did I come-

"Hey." I looked up to see Newt standing in front of me. He was peering down at his boots intently and had his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. When he looked up, his hazel eyes met mine.

"Hey." I said barely loud enough for him to hear.

He sat himself right next to me. "I'm not going to ask the cliché question if you're 'okay,' because obviously... you're not." I chuckled softly at his comment. "But may I ask you why you're not 'okay'?"

I took a deep breath. "Sure. I guess. Just promise me that your view of who I am won't change, okay?" He nodded, "Absolutely."

"Okay, so, as you know, Alby asked to see me. He said that he remembered. I'm not sure how much because all he told me was that it was all my fault. I was the one who designed the Maze. I was the one who put you here..."

There was a silent pause. I continued to ramble, "I was suppose to be the one who helped figure out the Maze-a way out of here... but I was the one who designed it... I guess it doesn't matter anymore..."

There was another silent pause.

Then Newt spoke up. He spoke the most noble words, and I would remember them forever,

"You're right. It doesn't matter. Any of it. The people we used to be don't even exist anymore, thanks to those bloody Creators. All that matters is who we are now and what we do now."

The silence was deafening. I didn't know what to think. I didn't deserve someone this forgiving-someone this amazing.

"C'mon," Newt stood up, and he had his hand out in front of him do that I could take it. "Daylight's running out, shank. The bloody runners will return any moment now." I grinned and took his hand, pulling myself up from my sitting position.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Once Newt and I reached the doors, we saw a group of Gladers huddled around by the barricade built by the builders. I knew who they were based on their watches and tight backpacks: runners.

I ran up to Minho and Gally and asked them if any Gladers were lost or did not come out yet. Minho said that only one runner had lost himself to the Grievers. His name was Jack. The sad part was that I never knew Jack. He was only a name, which was the scariest part on losing names on the wall of the Glade.

The doors started closing, and I knew that Jack's fate now belonged to the Maze.

It turns out that none of the runners who has survived even saw a Griever. A thought sprung up from my head, those two words, repeating: Trials. Pass.

The large doors shut closed, and Newt shouted, "Alright everyone. I call a council meeting in the Homestead for keepers only." No murmurs were uttered, only nods passed around like a contagious disease.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Here I was, with my ear pressed up against the wall of the Homestead and only 2 feet away from a sweaty, and not to mention smelly, shuck-faced Chuck.

He had somehow managed to influence me to listen in on the council meeting being held.
I was trying my best to listen through the walls and hear what they were talking about.

I heard Alby's voice shout, "We have to take action now or never!" I could hear muffles, but amid the muffles, I heard Gally's voice yelling over everyone's.

He was starting to tell everyone all the bad things that had happened. And a bad part was that I heard my name spoken multiple times. And an even worse part was that I didn't even hear Newt's voice.

Once the council was over, I saw rushes of teenage boys filing out of the building and other teenagers crowding around the Keepers.

I caught Newt as he was walking out of the Homestead. He was walking fast, away from the crowd with a frustrated look on his face. I walked behind him. "Newt." When he didn't answer, I shouted again, "Newt!"

He turned around quickly, "What do you want, Ellie?" His face was twisted with frustration, but I could see fear in his eyes.

I paused and gaped, then I gathered myself, "Why-what did Gally say? I heard Alby-"

"You weren't suppose to hear anything," He interrupted me. "It was an all keeper meeting, that's why you weren't there." His words stung me just as hard as a Griever's stinger.

I stood there, gaping. Newt had never been this harsh with me.
"Wh-What are we?" I blurted out. Then I pointed my hand at the space between us. "What is this that we have?"

This didn't seem to help Newt's aggravation at all.

"Ellie, I can't think of this at the moment. I am so stressed. All I can think of is to survive." And with that he turned around and walked away.

How could his happen? I just lost the one person I loved. All because of my stupid curiosity.

Maybe he was right. Maybe all I should do is think of surviving. After all, with the recent twist of events, it seems like the Maze is out to get me.

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