Imperial Love: All My Love (Gavin's Story) Book One

Chapter Six

Days have passed and Gavin barely got the chance to write to Delilah. His training was getting difficult, and he was starting to doubt himself.  He missed her like crazy. He needed her strength. And he needed that reminder that when this was all over, she would be his. Not like she already was, but he needed that reminder that they were going to build the life for themselves that he always dreamed of with his beautiful Delilah by his side, no matter what they would have to conquer.

That night, the first thing he did was grab a pen, and some paper. And just started writing.

18 January 1942

Dearest Delilah

I miss you so much. I miss you More than you can imagine. It's so strange being away from you for this long. It's more than I can bear. Things are very different around here. So much more different than I thought things would be, life just seems so much darker than it was before the beginning of the war, I have appeared to have looked at a whole new perspective on life. I barely recognize how my life was before the war. I can barely remember when life was good. I can barely remember the life I had. The joy, the happiness, the purity, and filled with love.
Do you remember when the world was happy? Full of life? And not living in a world with constant fear? Wondering if the war will ever end?  It seems like this war is going to last forever, but I know one day it will end, even if it takes three to four years. As I am training, I remind myself that this is my life now, my new life, I chose it. Do I regret it?  No. Not at all. I met two men here already and he and I have been spending time getting to know each other, and along with that, we bonded over our training. And over the girls that we had in our lives. My friend Elliot hasn't found anyone yet, but another friend of mine, Charles plans to propose the moment he returns alive. He does get worried that he won't make it, but don't we all. I can't imagine what you are thinking worrying about me constantly. But the one thing that keeps me going is the thought of me seeing you again. Back in my arms and we will be together again, and forget all of this happened. How's Peter doing? Is he taking care of himself? Does he miss me? Is he behaving? I'm sure he is. He just knows that sometimes I like to tease him. When all this is over I told Peter that at our wedding he would be the best man.  He has been nagging me about that since he was ten years old. So I figured I would get him to stop by telling him that he is going to be the best man. And he is.  And he will be the best damn best man anyone could ever ask for. And you'll be the most beautiful bride I've ever seen. And it will be the most amazing day of our lives. 

I love and I miss you every day and I cannot wait until you are in my arms again.

All My Love,

Gavin

Meanwhile that same night, Delilah did the exact same. She took a pen and paper, and a photograph of her by the beach, so Gavin could think of her, and she just started writing. She just Wrote everything that she was feeling, so she could feel closer to Gavin. Because she too needed his strength and words, to help her remind herself that Gavin would be back. 

January 18 1942

Dearest Gavin,

I am praying. Praying every day that you will return alive. Return to me and we will be together. and things will be alright. I ask myself all night and day if things will ever go back to normal, with the war over, or when you return, will things be the same. But I know now that when the war is over, nothing will ever be the same again.
There are things I ask myself every day when you are not with me. I always wonder if we would have committed to each other if we knew of the hardships we would have to face.  Would things be the same between us? Or would we not be together at all? 
 With the war happening, there are thousands of men coming into the medical bay. I see the horrors of war firsthand. The one thing that keeps me going is the thought of seeing you again when the war is over if I see you again. The only thing that really scares me is seeing you as one of my patients. Barely alive and cold to the touch. Let alone, losing you. That would be the worst part of it all.
Ever since the attack here, there had been a focus on war materials and more on keeping our soldiers safe and hoping we don't get attacked again.  I have been spending more time in the hospital, learning the basics. The basics of the medical field. I remember that horrifying day like you cannot imagine. Everyone was overwhelmed with fear, and the wounds on soldiers, and the lives that were lost. It was even more stressful with the capacity of beds increasing and more and more people losing their lives by the second.  I could tell none of them wanted to die, but I had hope. There had to have been hope. But I was losing hope more and more by the second, hearing their screaming and crying in pain. I could not imagine the pain, the terror, the hell they had to suffer that fateful day. I lost friends that day, nurses and soldiers that I considered to be good friends. They had so much to live for. So much they wanted to do when the war was over. Now they can't, and Now, we are in it. We are in this war and we can't get out of it.
To forget about that day, I often think about the time when we first met. We were so young, full of life,  and full of innocence, would we be the same when it's all over?
Would we look at each other the same?
I wonder that every single minute, of every hour I am not with you. Sometimes I see men walk through the clinic and they remind me of you. It haunts me at night when I go to bed I hear the screaming of pain in wounded soldiers. Dearest, what do we fight for? It's not for the country, it's not for the family because we don't have that. Is it for each other? Is it for the hope that we may see each other once again after this is over? Let's hope that at the end of this that we aren't changed by the outcomes of the war, and by the horrors that we've seen. That we've lived through every day. Are we able to survive on hope alone, or is there something else that we might need to continue to press on? I write to you asking for your strength and your words because I know that you are strong and you are the one thing that keeps me going. I hope that you can be my strength in these trying times because I don't know what I would do without you. Can you promise me that once this is all over we get our dream home and we build the life that we promised to each other? I need to hear this from you and I need you to believe this because if you don't believe in this how can I believe in us? All of this is just so hard for me to bear. And so hard for me to sink in. The fear every day of me worrying about whether or not I am going to get the telegram that I hope I do not get. There are often some days when I have doubts, doubts of whether or not you will return home to me, your younger brother Peter and your mother and father. I wonder if, or when you will return home. Or If you are no longer with us and none of us know it. Also speaking of Peter, he is doing fine. He is behaving well, and the boys in the military are keeping him in line. I have talked some sense into him many times to talk him out of his silly, immature behavior. He has seemed to be a different person without you around and his confidence has grown. He misses you. Almost as much as I do.  Recently he and I looked through old photographs from childhood and told me some funny stories about you and him and how you two used to tease each other a lot. And pretend you were soldiers, fighting in the military. Wow... It is crazy how far we've come, isn't it? I have sent you a photograph that was taken of me recently. It was over at the beach in the sunset of Hawaii a little bit before the attack, it was so beautiful. And The sunset was perfect, it reminded me of when we first met. I almost cried after taking that photograph, because it reminded me of you and everything that we had before the war. Oh, I just know we will be reunited soon. It breaks my heart not knowing where your whereabouts are and wondering whether or not you will return home to me at all. I miss you every single day and I think of you always. Every night, I turn on the radio hoping to hear the news that the war will finally be over. We will all be cheering and be filled with excitement. Most importantly, there will be a relief, that the war is finally over, no more news of people dying No more fear of telegrams, and no more sight of gushing blood and wounded soldiers everywhere crying and praying for their life.  But every time I hear on the radio, there is no news of the end of the war yet. But I know that it will be over soon. It has to be. And when it is, we will make a life for ourselves like we always wanted.

All My love,
Delilah