"WHO" ARE "YOU" ?

29. A LETTER

One week later....

Mom aur dad ki love marriage hui thi... Shaadi ke 2 saal baad dono mom dad bhi bane... Ek nahi unhe 2 bete huye... Twins.... Dono mein serf 2 mins ka fark tha... Aise hi bada beta huya Nawab Basu aur  chota beta Anurag Basu . Sabkuch ekdam sahi chal raha tha.... Lekin jab Nawab aur Anurag 4 saal ke huye tab aya un dono ke Zindagi mein tofaan. Dad ke affair shuru hogaye bahar, itne dino ka pyar thoda thoda karke khatam hone laga.... Pyar jab karwahat mein badal gaya tab dono ne faisla kiya alag hone ka... Unko apni Zindagi ka faisla karna tha, alag hona tha, aur isi alag hone ke chakkar mein hum dono bhai ke Zindagi barbad hogaye.... Koi bhi hum dono se dur nahi rehna chahte the aur akhir mein faisla huya aisa.... Nawab ko chod ke dad ke paas  main aur mom agaye yaha.... Bachpan se hi main thoda weak baccha tha... Aur itna sab hone ke baad mere liye sabkuch bohot mushkil hogaya tha.... Main nahi dad ko bhul sakta tha aur nahi apne bhai dur hone ke bare mein soch sakta tha.... Jaldi hi meri tabiyat kharab hone lagi.... Bukhar se ladne ke baad jab main thoda theek huya tab main depression ka shikar huya.... Aur aise apne mein ulajhta chala gaya.... In sab mein meri memory weak hota gaya aur dhere dhere main apna past bhulne laga.... Mom ne bhi mujhe kuch yaad karne nahi diya kyunki mere liye tab wahi sahi tha aisa doctor ka kehna tha. Jaise jaise main bada hota gaya mere dimag se Nawab mit chuka tha....mom me bataya tha ki dad ab is duniya mein nahi hai .... Tabse main wahi sach samajhke Zindagi guzar raha tha.... Ek wakt baad meri mulaqat hui Shivani se.... Meri mohabbat.... Jaan se bhi zyada pyar karta tha main usse.... Woh bhi mujhe bohot chahti thi.... Par Zindagi ko shayad meri khushi bardasht nahi hui... Ek accident mein woh mujhe chodke chali gayi.... Toot chuka tha main... Mere andar koi feeling bachi hi nahi thi... Uske siwa kisi aur ke bare mein soch bhi nahi sakta tha main....sapno mei mujhe wahi dikhti thi.... Doctor bana, logon ka ilaj karna shuru huya, Anupam ne mujhe bht support kiya.... Aur tab.... Tab mere pas ek patient aya.... Jisse theek karna thoda mushkil tha... Lekin maine apna best diya... Tumhe us duniya se wapas lana itna bhi koi asan baat nahi tha ...  Tumhara mujhe Nawab samajhna... Mujhse pyar karne ki baat .... Ajeeb tha mere liye.... Phir mujhe pata chala ki tumhe mujhse nahi mere chehre se mohabbat hai.... Tab bhi sab sahi tha... Lekin pata nahi kese.... Sach bol raha hu Maya.... Pata nahi kese kab tumhare liye feeling jaga , pata nahi kab tumhe apna lagne laga, kab tumhe main Shivi ke jagah de chuka tha mujhe pata bhi nahi chala...... ulajh gaya tha main ... Anurag Basu badal bhi chuka tha, ulajh chuka tha.... Sabkuch jante huye main tumhe andhere mein nahi rakh sakta tha..... Nahi tumse dur jane ki himmat tha mujhmei.... Aur sab agar bata bhi deta to itne din jo tumhe theek karne ke liye maine mehnat ki woh sab to kharab ho jata na? Insaan hu main bhi Maya.... Akhir mein tumhari mohabbat ne mujhe har diya, Nawab ka pata nahi tha mujhe....mujhe laga tha tumhe kabhi  pata nahi chalega, khush rakhunga main tumhe, ban jaunga tumhare liye Nawab. Phir kya... Shadi hui humari ... Khush the hum, bohot khush tha main tumhare sath. Par naseeb kuch aur hi tha, Agaya wapas Nawab... Aur tumhe legaya mujhse dur. Pagalon ki tarah dhunda main tumhe.... Kya haal huya tha mera serf Anupam aur Shrusti ko pata hoga.  Isi bich mein Mom ka bhi accident huya, 1 month coma mei rehne ke baad guzar gayi woh.... Chodke chali gayi mujhe. Itna sab sehna mere liye asan nahi tha Maya. Agar Anupam na hota to shayad aj main zinda hi nahi hota. Mom ke almari se ek khat mila mujhe jaha mere past ke baremein sab kuch likha tha...kya huya tha kaise huya kyu huya sabkuch.... Hairan reh gaya tha main... Dhere dhere thoda bohot yaad aya mujhe phir.  Finally jab main tumse mila to...baki ka to tum janti hi ho.... Nawab ko mom ke sath rehna tha... Mom ka pyar chahta tha woh. Usse yeh baat bardasht nahi hui ki main mom ke paas hu aur woh waha hai. Dad kabhi usse pyar nahi diya hoga tabhi itna gussa, tadap tha uski Zindagi mein. Mujhse badla lena Chahta tha Nawab. Woh khush nahi to mujhe bhi khush nahi rehne dena chahta tha. Isilie tumhara istemal kiya usne.... Pehle tumse mohabbat ka khel khela, phir marne ka natak karke tumhe dard mein chodke chala gaya.... Tumhari mom ko mere hone ka khabar pohchaya .... Unhe pata tha sab ... Mujhe call bhi unhone kiya tha, chipaya bhi unke kehne pe. Jab mere liye tum meri sabkuch ban gayi to usne apna last play card istemal karke tumhe legaya.... Uska inteqm bas yehi tha ... Mujhe tadpana.... Tumhari koi galti na hone par bhi tumhare sath jo huya main samajh sakta hu... Main janta hu main bhi tumhara gunehgar hu....par main kya karta us wakt Maya.... Afsos hai mujhe.... Tum jo saza doge maanlunga..... Jo tum kahoge karunga .... Par aise tum chup na raho..... Tum akeli nahi ho Maya.... Tumhare andar ek aur jaan hai ab.... Chitthi bheja kyunki tumse nazre milane ki himmat nahi tha mujhmei.... Maaf kardo na Maya.... Main bahar khada hoon. Balcony mein aoge to mujhe dekhoge.... Intezar karunga tumhara.....

Tumhara Anurag.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ignore miskate please

Thank you