Begin Again | Sam Wilson

Chapter Sixteen

Brianna sat in a dreamlike state as Sam drove her to her hotel room. She needed to change. It wasn't exactly appropriate to see your mourning family looking your best. It hadn't hit her fully that her mom was gone. She had just talked to her that morning and she sounded fine. She was a fucking nurse. She should have known if something was wrong. She thought at any second that she would break down, but she didn't. She just stared at the road with emotionless eyes.

She didn't realize how tired she was as she drew her knees to her chest. It wasn't the most lady like position, but she didn't care. She was exhausted and the worst of it hadn't even started. She supposed she was in denial in the different stages of grief. Soon she would move onto laying in her bed, sobbing her eyes out. Followed by anger. That one was extremely difficult. She could be a destructive person. She would try and cope next. She would look through endless photos of her mom she supposed. She would try to remember what her voice sounded like. Then, she would be numb.

Sam gave her the space and silence she needed as they rode the elevator up to her hotel room. He could remember the moment he found out his mom died and he wanted nothing more to be left alone, but being alone wasn't good. Brianna would need someone who wasn't family and he would be right there for her. He stood outside the hotel room as she changed into a pair of leggings and a t shirt. When she emerged from the room, her face had been rid of every ounce of make up. Her hair was tied back into a bun.

A duffel bag was held tightly in her hand. She still looked so emotionless. Without asking, Sam took her bag from her and they got back into the elevator. She stopped in front of his car.

"Thank you for driving me here." She finally spoke.

"I wasn't going to exactly abandon you in a time like this." He admitted. "Where are you headed to next?"

She sighed deeply. "My mom and stepdad's house in Upstate. W-We have to make arrangements. I'm just going to call a car."

"Isn't that a six hour drive? It'll be like four am when you get there. Why don't you stay the night at my place? In the morning, I'll drive you there. We can even stop by your apartment and you can get some different clothing if you would like."

"Sam...I can't ask you to do that."

"I'm not asking. I've been through this before. It's not easy. It's probably going to be one of the hardest things you've been through. You don't need to be alone with some stranger in a car. You need a friend."

"Okay." She finally agreed.

"Okay." He said and opened the car door for her.

Again, she was quiet as he drove to his house. It was becoming harder not to breakdown. The lump in her throat was getting bigger. The burning sensation in her eyes was worsening. She didn't want to cry in front of Sam. She wanted to mourn privately. Her feet felt heavy as she walked up the stairs to Sam's house. It didn't even feel like she was present. It felt like she was watching herself from the outside. She didn't say a word to Sam as she walked up the stairs to the room she previously occupied.

It was probably rude, but he would understand. She just wanted to sleep. She didn't bother showering or even changing. She just slipped under the blanket, but she didn't sleep. At first the tears rolled down her cheeks without sound. Then it came in waves. Her body began to shake as sobs wrecked through her. She clutched the pillow to her face tightly, not wanting Sam to hear her. Her mom was dead and she didn't know what the hell she was going to do.

Sam sat on the floor on the other side of the bedroom door that Brianna was occupying. She didn't know he was sitting there listening to her. He wanted to do more than just sit there. He wanted to walk inside and hold her, but he refrained from doing so. His heart was breaking for her. She had lost so much the past few months. He sat there for hours until she was quiet. She either stopped crying or she cried herself to sleep. Once he was sure she was okay, he stood up and pulled out his phone to call Clint.