sʜᴏʀᴛ sᴛᴏʀɪᴇs [eng]

» nightfall [chiluc]

[ genshin modern au (?) ]

I remember the darkness surrounding me while not even the moon could lit up the room i was in.
The orange lanterns of the street were shining in the distance, showing some parts of the houses near them.
The window i kept looking out of, and the garden that was made visible by the orange light of the lantern on the street in front of it were a sight i would not forget - so peaceful. so calm.

It was almost 5 in the morning when i sat in front of the opened window, curled into the blanket i was given.

Somehow reassuring, yet somehow frightening and somehow, it wasn't the first and last time.

Something calm and welcoming, something so peaceful, and still something that seems to be ready to haunt me forever if something was to happen here.

Never knowing what it could be, i stayed up all morning, looking at the sight in front of me.

And next to me, you were sleeping so calmly without a care in the world.

While you were sleeping, i stayed awake, protecting you from something that i could not name; whether it was the darkness lurking around us or the monster under the bed we slept in - i could never ever get to sleep, knowing something could harm you; the person i loved the most.

All i tried was to keep you save, so why do i still see you with all these bruises and that smile on your face; the handsome face i have been looking at for all those years. And these dead eyes that would never sparkle with joy except for when you were in danger.

Why would they never sparkle when you saw me, when all your loving words were meant to have a safe sound and soothing tone; god damn it, why wouldn't you love me back?

While all i tried was to protect you with all those nights i stayed awake over the years, with all the care and love i gave you, why do you show up with all these bruises?

And why am i, the person who's supposed to be your protector, sitting in front of you, on my knees with slit wrists?

And why do you look so shocked, as if this is not something you could've expected, and all the time i tried to reach for your hand, why did i see another man holding it?

Why were your eyes sparkling with joy when you saw him? Where all these years i watched over you nothing to you?

The blood started trickling onto the floor a month before we met, and yet, you never saw, you never noticed how hard i tried to protect you.

It took me years to finally realize, that the monster lurking in the room we slept in was me.

I feel stupid now that i know it.

That church infront of your home is where we met for the first time.

And that church is the place, where we'll part ways forever.

I hope you know i loved you.

Wasn't it obvious?
A soul like mine was never compatible with a soul like yours.

Why did i even try?