sʜᴏʀᴛ sᴛᴏʀɪᴇs [eng]

» firewater [chiluc]

[Childe x Diluc (Genshin Impact) & ZhongChi implied]

[tw: implied substance abuse/self-harm]

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Diluc sat at the counter of his kitchen, staring into his half empty glass.

The bottle in front of said glass was half empty. It was some strong alcohol, its color always reminded him of a certain person.

He felt guilty when the opening of the bottle echoed in the room. The redhead stared at the door in front of him, scared that someone may enter but everyone was asleep - it was 3:28a.m. anyways.

One more time... Just one more time, please... Isn't that fine?

His face was flushed, the alcohol definitely did one job, just not the right one.

He felt light headed and knew his body temperature was rising a bit. Yet, he felt so empty.

He wished he could cry or even be angry, he just needed to be able to break down - that was the reason he grabbed himself something to drink in the first place.

It wasn't working though.
Neither did it stop him from thinking, nor did it finally make him feel a slight bit drowsy to help fight his insomnia.

He just sat there and stared into his glass.

If only anyone knew what he was doing there, trying to drown his pain and sorrows in alcohol - who was he, Kaeya?

Diluc shook his head, leaning back in his seat and stared at the ceiling; his hands gripping the counter so he wouldn't fall.

He looked at his phone, not a single message - why would there be any when just the day before be pushed everyone he was close with away?

Diluc knew he was the problem.
He always has been, he always ruined everything.

When everything was getting messy and everyone criticized him, he felt like the devil himself gave him alcohol as an answer.

At least he was sober for a few hours right?
Drinking every night at least one shot, god, how addicting can it be?

It's probably because that razor-sharp liquid finding it's way into your body and leaving a hot feeling in your chest feels like that at least your organs are alive if you're mind isn't.

How did he end up like this?
Good question, he didn't know either.

If things didn't go his way, he'd be irritated and pissed off in front of others.

When he was alone, he'd be crying and grabbing the bottle.

He'd try everything to be someone else.

Who was he to try and save himself?

This was not the end, was it?
There was a chance for him, right?

A chance to get his absolute favorite person, his special someone back right?

That ginger hair, the freckles in his face and those shiny, blue eyes, that smile - gosh, that smile, it was all that mattered, his laugh - his laugh was everything.

Diluc would do everything to see a smile, even it was just a faint one, for once more.

He was sure he'd never ever see it again, except for in almost all of the 595 pictures he had saved - it used to be almost over 700 pictures, including sweet or flirty text messages and screenshots of their hour-long calls.

Diluc knew he was always ruining it more the more desperate he tried to get closer to the ginger.

Why? Why do you act as if you never knew any of my flaws? I told you who i am now and who i was in the past - we were so close.

Instead of his glass, he grabbed the bottle, drinking more and more with every gulp.

He's probably mad at me. Disappointed even.

Diluc slammed down the now almost empty bottle, staring into the glass infront of his face. He moved it slightly before his head hit the countertop, tears started to form in his eyes.

If it wasn't for him i would have you all to myself.

You wouldn't get mad at me.

You'd smile at me, laugh with me.

I could never hurt you the way he did, yet you forgive him and cling onto this false hope.

He doesn't love you, Ajax...
But i do. I love you so much.

Why will i never be able to be just as important to you as he is?

Don't smile at him that way.

Fuck, he doesn't love you as truly as i do.

I would give you the world, Ajax.

Diluc wiped his tears with the same sleeves of his shirt that were covered in his blood.

Finally.
Finally, he was able to feel something again.
For how long though?

The redhead didn't care.
He finally felt the pain of his mind physically on his body and finally was able to cry.

He felt relief, even if it was temporary.

He was finally able to sleep in peace - even if it was only at almost 6a.m.

Heaven knows he ain't getting over this heartbreak.

I'll always be here for you.
I will wait for you - blacked out in my room.