"Alagaan mo sila ng mabuti Cameron, wag na wag monghahayaan mawala sila sa mga mata mo," lumuluha kong sambit habang hinahaplos ang ulo ng aking mga aso. Toffie was just staring at me as I cried hard in front of them.
I'm going to Japan, and I can't bring all of them there. Die is the only dog I can bring there since I'm staying in my grandfather's house.
Hindi ko kayang iwan sila pero wala 'rin naman akong magagawang paraan para isama sila. "Don't worry about them, they'll be fine," I told my parents na si Cameron ang gusto kong mag-alaga sa mga aso ko nang maisama niya ito palagi sa shelter since she na ang maghahawak nito dahil aalis na ako.
Habang umiiyak natigilan ako ng dilaan ni Doofy ang pisngi ko at pilit inabot ang aking mukha gamit ang kanyang kaliwang kamay. I stopped and kissed his forehead as I hugged him with all my heart.
"I will miss you all," Simon lay down on my lap and asked for a belly rub, I smile at him and give him what he wants, nagstay ako sa tabi nila for almost two hours bago dumating sila Dad at Mom sa loob ng aking silid.
"It's fine to go, Naivy," Dad gently said, mas lalong lumakas ang pag iyak ko dahil iiwan ko na talaga sila ngayon, they we're all silent at paputloy lang nila akong tinitingnan bago ako dahan-dahan tumayo.
Sinubukan kong humakbang papalayo pero tila hinihila ako papalapit sa kanila, at hindi ko naiwasang bumagsak umiyak ng sobrang lahat. "Naivy!" gulat na sambit ni Dad at Cameron, I hugged my dogs and cried really hard. "Shh, wag mo na sila isipin, hindi ko sila papabayaan Naivs , you know that." Cameron whsipered.
"They will understand why you're leaving them for a while, magkikita din kayo after a year," he continued and rubbed his hand on my hair.
Sobrang hirap, sobrang sakit iwan silang lahat. "They will be fine, nandito kami para sa kanya, please Naivy you have to go," Mom whispered as she helped me stand up and slowly pulled me out of the room.
We stepped out of the room, and as they closed the door, I could hear their barks from the inside. It feels like a sharp knife slowly ripping my heart as I take my steps off the staircase while hearing them calling me.
Inalalayan ako nila Dad pababa ng hagdan at tumuloy kami palabas ng bahay, dala-dala ang mga gamit ko at maleta.
"Shhh, you'll see them again but for now it is for the better, you need to heal yourself," bulong ni Mama at hinalikan ang aking noo, sumakay kami sa sasakyan at tinahak ang daan papalayo sa bahay.
Habang nakasakay sa sasakyan, walang tigil pa'rin ang pagtulo ng aking luha at nanghaplusin ko ang aking daliri, ako ay natigilan ng maramdaman ko ang singsing na aking suot.
Tiningnan ko ito at kinagat ko ang ibabang bahagi ng aking labi, kasabay ng pagpasok ng mga ala-ala ng singsing na ito.
"D-dad," I called out my father while staring at the ring, "Yes?" nilingon nila akong dalawa ni mama. I just glance at them before I look back at the ring and said, "Pwede ho ba tayong dumaan sa bahay ni Dyky bago ako tuluyang tumuloy sa airport, may ibabalik lang ako," diretso kong sambit sabay punas ng luha sa aking pisngi.
They looked hesitant, but later on they nodded, looked into each other's eyes and said. "Sure," tugon ni Dad at agad ang uturn, papunta sa subdivision kung saan nakalocat ang bahay ni Dyky.
Habang papalapit kami sa bahay na iyon, sobrang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko, pakiramdam ko habang papalapit kami ng papalapit ay parang unti-unting nauubos ang hininga ko.
Sorang bigat sa pakiramdam na makita ang lugar na ito, I could see memories in every place around the subdivision, lalo na nung dumaan yung nagtitinda ng street food. Pinigilan ko ang aking sariling umiyak muli at patuloy na hinawakan ang suot kong singsing.
Dad stops the car in front of the house, and agad kong napansin na wala dito ang sasakyan ni Dyky, bumababa ako ng sasakyan at ganun din ang ginawa nila mama, sinubukan nila akong samahan papalapit sa gate pero pinigilan ko sila.
"Let me, saglit lang po ako." I whispered and slowly let go of their hands. Huminga ako ng malalim bago dahan-dahan binuksan ang gate ng bahay at naglakad papalapit sa pinto.
I glance at my parents standing in front of the gate watching me, before I hold on to the door knob and open it. My lips parted ng makita ko ang basag na vase sa buong living room at ang mga walang laman na bote ng wines.
Pumasok ako sa loob at pinagmasdan ang buong paligid, I smile bitterly, the memories in this house were so sweet, pure, and filled with love but sadly I need to let go of all of this.
Lumuluha kong hinubad ang singsing na aking suot at binitawan ito sa dining table, I grab a piece of tissue from the kitchen and a pen from the living room to write on it.
Ipinatong ko ito sa lamesa bago hinalikan ang singsing at pinaibabaw ito sa tissue, and slowly take my step backwards. Napahawak ako sa aking dibdib habang patuloy ang nakakamatay na kirot ng aking puso, "G-goodbye," I whisper bago ako humakbang palabas ng bahay.
Patakbo akong nilapitan ni Mama ng makita niya akong lumabas, nanghihina akong yumakap sa kanya, "Shhh, you can do this," she whispered, tumango ako bilang sagot at tumuloy na kami muli sa sasakyan at dumiretso na sa airport.
"Leave all of your pain here and make a new start for yourself out there," Dad cupped my face and kissed my forehead. I could feel how genuine their love is even though I am a huge disappointment to them.
"I'm sorry Dad," I whispered. "You don't have to say that again and again, you're my daughter of course I will always forgive you, my love for you is limitless," nakangiting sambit ni Dad, and that lightens up the mood.
Gives me the strength to take my step into my new start.
Niyakap ko silang dalawa ng sobrang higpit, "I will miss you so much," sambit ko.
"We'll visit you," Dad uttered and that's when they let me go and sinumulan ko lumayo sa kanial dala ang mga gamit ko at tuluyan nang sumakay sa plane.
When I sit inside the plane, I take a deep breath and look up at the bright sky and imagine Dyky's smiling face.
It's hard to let go but sometimes some chapters of our life end here and we have to start a new story.
Maybe my story with him ends here and will always be a beautiful masterpiece. "Goodbye Dyky," I whispered, closing my eyes with a smile and that's when the pain boarded.
"D-dyky."
