Gehraiyaan.

Chapter 36

Chinmay Roy. Childhood best friend. What in the Bollywood plot twist is this?

"All of this was planned? His plan?", things eventually makes sense. Otherwise, why on Earth would 'Zain' return to meet me after months of our first date? And why was he head-over-heels 'in love' with me, even before I said something? And...and...the obvious question - how did he know that I was sitting in Darshan's car this morning, when he met the two of us? I was the stupid, ignorant one here, and they've played the fool with ease. Wow.

"Listen, Navya. I did all of this to bring you closer to him", he clarifies. "...which is what I said - all of this was a plan. And why do you have to bring me closer to him, Zai---Chinmay. Whoever you are!", I toss my hands in the air.

"And how were you even going to make me fall in love with him, when all of this was about us dating?", I throw at him, angrily. "I don't know, okay. I honestly don't know what I was thinking when I told Darsh that we could figure something out. I thought I could keep talking about him on our dates, and make you realize that there's something between the two of you that's still alive", Chinmay answers. "Okay, and?", I scoff, oppressing my rage.

"Chinmay, you need to record and listen to yourself. You sound absolutely absurd!", I shake my head to the sides. "And what if all this flopped, and I fell in love with Zain...who obviously doesn't exist anymore? How were you going go break the reality for me? Oh, Navya. Are you in love with me? I'm sorry to say, but I don't even exist. All this was a game Darshan and I played with your feelings", tears cling at the edge of my eyes.

"Navya...you need to calm down", Chinmay utters in nervousness. "Calm down and do what? Accept all of this crap going on? And why do you have to bring us closer? He's married, he has moved on. Let me move on, at least!", I state. "No one's holding you back from moving on in life, in the first place, Navya", Chinmay voices. "You had seven years to move on".

"That day when you found out that you were catering for Darshan's family, why did you take up the offer?", Chinmay interrogates. "Because that's my business", I answer, doing everything I can to conceal the abrupt shakiness in my voice. "Despite knowing that you'll be working for Darshan, you chose to stick to your business? How professional are you?", Chinmay sarcastically comments.

"You can lie to the world, but for how long are you going to lie to yourself?", he questions. "Zain---Chinmay, you're going too far", a drop of tear tumbles out of my eye.

"If you think so, I'll stop right here. But one thing, Navya - I may be right, or absolutely wrong, I don't know about that. I did what I did for the love of my best friend. I still remember how he literally pleaded in front of me that night. I've watched him crumble into pieces after he lost his first love to death. I've watched him jump in-and-out of relationships, and I know relationships meant nothing to him. You think he's holding his marriage in one piece, at the moment? Go ask him about the reality of his marriage. He keeps talking about you. I cannot even hold a pen, he has some story about you linked to it. I don't know about you, but he regrets letting you go that night in Mumbai, even though nothing was in his hands. And after all that - when he asked for help, I thought to myself : this man has been through tough times in life, he has sacrificed a lot, so this is the least he deserves. He deserves to fall in love, and live with the one he loves with all his heart. And whether you want to hear this right now - or not - it's you, Navya. I know what we did is shitty, and I apologize for that. We didn't think too far. But none of this was intended to hurt your feelings; it was to stop your feelings for him from dying", Chinmay concludes his speech and I'm simply standing still, holding back my ocean of tears.

"And I know what we did is wrong, but we didn't commit a sin. At least for me - a step taken for love, is a footprint left behind for good. Maybe, I should've simply confronted you and told you what Darsh still feels for you. It was stupid of me to hide behind an identity, and play around. But I've told you everything you need to know, the choice is yours", he smiles in powerlessness and walks away, stranding me behind with a string of tangling thoughts.

As strolls away from me - into the dark - I watch how the picture of Zain shatters apart into nothing, and how I'm back to square one - thinking about Darshan.

Choices. One hell of a frightening word. Because, from experience, there's only one thing I can tell - choices leave you with more regrets than joy. And when regrets walk into the picture, it becomes hard to even breathe, at times, at the thought of all the good things you lost because you were unsure. Sometimes, choices turn into consequences, ones that might rip your soul apart. Every day.

Tossing the daunting thoughts away, I take a cab back home. At least, he could've offered to drop me back home!

Once I jump into a comfortable PJs - which barely give me any sense of comfort today - I pour a glass full of cold milk and fetch a packet of Oreos. I'm so mad at Darshan right now, but I don't know how to vent it out. The last time, I decided to vent out my anger, my window shattered into pieces. Venting out is too expensive for middle class people, so the best option is to stuff food into your mouth.

I receive the seventh incoming call from Darshan, in a gap of thirty minutes, and I simply silence my phone. Well, he needs to know that certain choices he makes have consequences that he has to pay for. Being a celebrity has no exception.

I end up calling Kesh, even though I wanted to keep her miles away from everything. But my wandering thoughts are intolerable, and I definitely cannot afford a therapist.

"What happened now?", Kesh questions, seconds after answering the call. "How--how do you know?", I question, perplexed. "You only remember that I exist when life fucks you; it's no rocket science", she tells, flatly, and with that, I blurt out everything to her. It leaves her speechless for a surprisingly long moment.

"Why is your life so, so messed up?", she questions. "It's not the time to joke, Kesh!", I grunt in annoyance. "I thought he's over you", Kesh's voice fades into the background. "When I met him, I figured out he still has feelings for me because...you cannot burn the love you have for someone. But I never thought he would go to this extent", I say.

"It doesn't matter to which extent he goes for you, because he's married", Kesh gives me a dose of reality check. I'm convinced that her role in my life is to hold me back from taking impulsive, crazy decisions!

"I know you have the habit of doing the exact opposite of what I ask you to do, but this one time - for the love of the career that took you ages to build, and for the love of yourself - just forget that this ever happened", she advices.

"He's a married man, and trust me - you don't mess with a married man's life. If I were his wife, I'd eat you alive, or something", she tells me. And I cannot help but think about the 'truth about his marriage' that Chinmay mentioned. What if there's more to it, than what the eyes can notice?

"And if...if by any chance, the media finds out about the two of you - they won't spare you. Celebrity life is messed up. They'll cook up all the fake stories about you and ruin your life. You don't need more drama in your life, do you?", she takes a pause.

"Of course, I won't mess with his life. I'm not that stupid, Kesh!", I take offense.

"Love makes people do crazy things", Kesh casually utters. "I'm not in love with him", I assert. "In my language, we call this love. I don't know about you", she says back, silencing me.

Once I hang up, I switch off my phone - avoiding Darshan's phone calls - and munch on my Oreos. There's no problem in this world that food cannot solve, but what I'm going through at the moment...I don't think anything can fix this. I desperately need to talk to Darshan - and yell at him for the peace of my mind, at the least. But talking to him will only drag me into deeper trouble.

×
[ It's a #DoubleDhamaka Day, so Swipe down for one more chapter!]