Gehraiyaan.

Chapter 41

On Friday morning, my eyes flung open at around 6 in the morning, without an alarm nor a bad dream. I woke up with an unsettling feeling in my stomach. A fear. And even though, I didn't want to face the truth...it was the fear of losing Darshan.

After making myself a mug of coffee in a rush, which turned out to have more water than milk, I walked over to fetch the letters from the mailbox at my door. Electricity bills. Apartment rent. Internet bills, and a thousand more payments I had to make at the end of the month. Adulting is a scam; it's nothing more than stress you cannot handle, and piles of bills that you cannot pay. And of course, how can I forget about the fact that money magically disappears from your purse! I cannot believe that I was excited to grow up.

I walk over to the window that opens a crammed, narrow street; the kind of view you wouldn't want to post on Instagram, but the sun rises from this side of the building and to me, staring at the sunrise is a form of therapy. There's something so enthralling about how everything is so still, yet there's a constant change; how the changes occur gradually. I find sunrises to be symbolic - that changes in life don't have to evident, you simply have to trust the process and believe you're doing the right thing. The rest will simply fall in the right place.

Taking small sips of my coffee that has now turned cold, I gaze at the sky that resembles a canvas today, with breathtaking colours thrown all over. The remnants of the dark blue from the night sky fades into the background, as a dominating shade of pink takes over with a tinge of purple streaks. The three colours coexist underneath the same sky, before the darkness in the blue gets diluted into a lighter, calmer shade. Rays of yellow and orange paint the sky, before the sun paves its way to the top, illuminating the city. No matter what the view is, a sunrise can make everything look a thousand times better.

Needless to say that once I walk away from the window, the caged thoughts flow back about Darshan and without sparing a moment, I simply fetch my phone and send him a Good Morning text. Forget about read, the message doesn't even get delivered.

Maybe, he's busy with arrangements; it's his brother's wedding, I cannot be expecting him to cling onto his phone, all day.

My focus was all over the place, in the café; I kept checking my phone, and glancing out of the window with hopes that he would show up, somehow.

"I asked you for an Espresso. Not a Cappuccino! What the fuck? This is the second time you messed up! You know what? Fuck it. I'm out of here!", the customer yells at me and storms out, shifting the focus on me.

"Are you okay, Akka? You look disturbed. I'll take over", Meenu whispers in my ear and tugs me away from the counter. I walk into the changing room with my phone, and stare at the unread message for two whole minutes. Where is he? It has been over 3 hours! Did he... did he leave to Mumbai? Without telling me? No, he would never do that. Darshan would never!

Me : Are you okay?

Me : Call me whenever you see this message, I'll be waiting.

With time, the worries in my chest only blossoms into something larger and at the pit of my stomach, I feel a sickening sensation. Without sparing another moment to waste, I call Chinmay up...whose number is still saved as Zain! He's the only person I can turn to, at this moment.

"Hey, Navya? How are you doing?", Chinmay casually questions. "Where's Darshan?", I question back in impatience. "Huh? Sorry?", he echoes in blankness.

"Where's Darshan, Chinmay? He has been offline since morning, and I----I need to talk to him about something regarding the order for tomorrow's Mehendi function", I cook up a lie on the spot.

"He boarded the flight to Mumbai last night. Didn't you know?", Chinmay utters and for a moment, I remain paralyzed.

My past simply floods my memory - bringing back the memories of how Advik stranded me. But that was Advik. How could Darshan do the same, despite knowing about what I went through when Advik left me all alone, without answers? How could he put me through the same hell-hole? I feel I'm destined to be stranded, and heartbroken. Over and over, again. I'm never meant to be loved, or kept. People simply walk over me, no matter how special they make me feel.