A Walk to Eden

33

*Jake POV*

"What is it your not telling me?" Josh kicks my door open.

"Josh. It's fucking early o'clock. Let me sleep." I grunt out from under the covers.

"Was it Sam?" He asks. I close my eyes, trying to find that peaceful sleep again. "Hey." I hear his steps get closer. "Hey." He yanks the blankets off of me.

"Hell man!" I sit up, ready to beat his ass.

"Was it Sam." He stares at me. His eyes are red and puffy. I can't lie to him anymore. I sigh, kicking my legs over the edge of the bed.

"Yes." I look back up at him.

"What did he say?" He asks.

"Josh.. I don't think you want to-" he snaps before I can finish.

"Dammit Jake! Tell me what he said!" He drops the ground.

"Josh." I grab him by the shoulders.

"I can't Jake. It's killing me." He looks at me, tears running down his face. "I can't sleep, I can't eat, sometimes I can't breathe. It's killing me." He starts to shake, his body full of anger and sadness.

"What Josh? What's wrong?" I slide off the bed and sit next to him on the floor. It's true about what they say about twins. They can feel each other's pain. Seeing Josh not himself the last few months has put an effect on me.

"I love her." He finally gives in, fully collapsing on the floor, breaking out into sobs. "I love her. And I never got to tell her. And I never will."

"Josh.." I sit there, not knowing what to do. He's never been this passionate about anything before. Not even film. Watching someone you love crack and break from something that is out of your control, makes you feel like nothing. You can't do anything. And it's even worse when this person is your built in best friend. He's my brother. The other half of me. "Josh. I don't want to tell you what he said, because it will hurt even more." He quiets and sits up.

"Jake. Does she love him?" He begs. My silence answers his question, and I watch as everything leaves him. His light leaves him.

"But Josh," he doesn't look at me. "Sam loves her too." He shakes his head. "They love each other." He slowly stands up, knees shaking, heavy breathing. I quickly stand up, hoping he doesn't drive himself mad. "Josh.." I grab him by the shoulders, he just stares at me, angry and full of heart break. "If you love our brother, and you love her, you have to let her go." I sigh. I hate that I have to be the one in the middle. Josh is my twin. But Sam is my little brother. Where the relationships are different, I still love them with my entire existence. I want Josh to be happy, but I want that for Sam too. It just kills me they are chasing after the same girl.

"Get off of me." Josh whispers.

"Josh." I plea. He smacks my hands off of him and he stands there.

"I hate that you get your dream of being a rockstar. I hate that Danny gets his dream come true. I hate that Sam gets his dream girl. I hate all of this. When is it my turn?" He starts to cry again. "When is it my fucking turn!" He cries. "Why is it, that everyone gets what they want, but I never do." He stares at me with complete and utter hate. "Why?" And i just stand there. "Why!"

"I don't know!" I yell back. "Do you think you two were the only ones in love with her!" His eyes widen. "Well here's some fucking news, your not! I was too! I still am! But I have pushed my feelings aside for her and our brother! And I would do it again and again if it meant that they would be happy for the rest of their god given lives!" I throw my hands in the air. "Face it Josh. When it comes to her, Sam will always be there. You left, and I didn't even get to bat. Sam has been there since the beginning, and he loves her so fucking much, that is always going to be there." His face softens, and his hands drop to his sides. "Sam was in love with her too. In high school. He would talk about her all the time. And I listened, because you didn't. You didn't know her until a couple of years ago. And even then, you didn't do anything. You were with other girls." I feel myself grow angry. "And you, have been selfish." His eyes snap to mine.

"How am I-" he starts.

"You didn't let her choose. You forced us away, so you could have her all to yourself!" I yell. "Not only did Sam want to be around her, but I did too." My eyes start to fill, and they slowly run down my cheeks. "I loved her too." I drop my hands. "Josh. She's happy. She's in love. And so is our brother." I softly say. Mom always told us that the best way to be heard, was through love. "So let them be in love and happy, with each other. It's what they deserve." I softly say. His body relaxes, while mine does the opposite. I sit back down on my bed, wiping my eyes. I hate yelling at him, but sometimes, he needs to know that there is a world out there that doesn't revolve around him.

"I'm sorry." He mutters.

"I am too." I look back at him.

"And your right." He sighs. "They are really happy. And we.. I.. need to let them be happy together." He looks at me. I know how hurt he is, I feel it too. I stand up and walk over to him, pulling him into a hug.

"I love you man." I chuckle.

"I love you too Jakey." He softly laughs.