Empress of Self-Ruin

Chapter 4: Witness to My Despair

The bed shook as I thrashed, moaning repeatedly. I couldn't seem to get my words out. It was so hot, my head burned, and I could barely register sounds and voices fading in and out... Doors opening and closing, footsteps approaching...

"Your Majesty... Please wake up." Someone shook me, her voice in my ear. It sounded vaguely familiar.

Elizabeth? Wait—

My eyes snapped open abruptly. I was covered in a cold sweat, my body shaking and my heart pounding uncontrollably. I sat up in fright, still holding my neck as I tried to calm my heavy breathing.

"Your Majesty," Eli gave me a concerned look before grabbing a glass of water from the bedside table. "Here, Your Majesty, a drink."

I took a sip, my hands still trembling as I stared at my supposedly dead lady-in-waiting in confusion.

"You—you're alive?" I blurted out.

"Uhh—yes, I'm alive, Your Majesty." She let out an awkward laugh as if she wasn't sure how to respond. "Did you have a nightmare, Your Majesty?"

"Nightmare?" I muttered to myself. No, it can't be.

Tears suddenly pooled in my eyes, and my vision was blurry and unfocused. I was definitely in hell—or was this heaven? Because Elizabeth would never be subdued into the depths of hell. People like me belonged there. People who ran more on hate than energy, a pathetic and bitter person—

Wait... if Eli doesn't belong in hell and I don't belong in heaven, where exactly am I?

I blinked rapidly, still thinking this was just some sort of illusion. When I was finally able to focus a bit more and take in my surroundings, I instantly recognized the familiar room, and my stomach suddenly churned and bubbled.

There was something to say when you took one look at your bedroom in your own palace and almost hurled the contents of your stomach all over the expensive, carpeted floor. I felt nauseous... the room reminded me too much of a time of peace. Of a time before the pain and anguish of loss.

Why am I here? Shouldn't I be dead? I was beheaded.

The feeling of a cold and sharp sword cutting down my neck was still so vivid in my memory, so I couldn't be alive. But this didn't seem like death to me.

Is this... is this the afterlife? Then— "Eli, do you know where the emperor is?"

Eli fidgeted with her dress, a habit that she often did when she was reluctant to do something.

"The emperor..." She bit her lower lip. "I heard from the servant that His Majesty hasn't been leaving his room ever since Lady Phoebe left the palace at the earliest of dawn."

"Lady Phoebe?" I gripped the bedsheets upon hearing her name.

Eli looked at me sympathetically.

"Why is Lady Phoebe here?" I asked her cautiously. If this is truly the afterlife, then does it mean Lady Phoebe died as well? But why—

Eli took a deep breath before answering. "Yesterday, after the banquet, the emperor and Lady Phoebe spent the night together."

"Huh?" I frowned. "What banquet?"

Eli seemed bewildered as if I was asking an absurd question.

"The national day banquet, of course. Your Majesty also attended the banquet yesterday. Don't you remember?"

"National day banquet," I mumbled to myself. "The emperor and Lady Phoebe spent a night together." This is so strange... Could it be that— "Eli, what's today's date?"