Trust

Smile With Me (CHANGED)

Holy. Oh. My. Gosh. Just. Whoa.

"What?!? When?!?" I exclaim.

"Tomorrow!" Niall responds excitedly. I don't know whether to be excited or scared or nervous.... Who am I kidding?? I'm going to travel the world! I break into a huge grin.

"Oh my gosh! This is gonna be so much fun!" I squeal. "How long will it be?"

"8 months." Harry says. My mouth drops. Holy cow. Dad smiles at me.

"Let's go get packing!" He pipes. I chuckle at him as he links his arm in mine and skips out to the car. We bounce all the way back to the house. The minute we walk inside, everyone scatters to their rooms to pack.

I start to sort out my clothes and decide what to bring. Someone knocks on my door. I open it up and see dad with a suitcase.

"I figured you'd need something to put your clothes in." He smirks. I chuckle.

"That might help..." I say with a smile. It feels good not to have to deal with any drama right now. This is the first time in my life that I have been drama-free. He chuckles too and leaves me to pack. I throw all of my clothes in and pack my makeup and toiletries bag. I finally finish and fling myself onto my bed. My notebook catches my eye.

Curiosity fills me as I walk over and carefully open it. The worn leather feels smooth in my hands. The pages are wrinkled where tears have fallen. Several pages are marked with blood stains. I open to the first page.

It hurts. It just hurts so much. Every time I hear something, I know it is him. He stumbles in with empty beer bottles and clenched fists. I found this notebook under a mum's dresser. I miss Mum. I never really knew her, but I'm sure she loved me. Didn't she? Maybe she was like dad? Maybe she would hurt me too?

I don't think she would. I think she's my guardian angel now. Otherwise, I think daddy would have killed me by now. My tummy is bleeding really badly right now. I have to wrap it again.

Daddy really hurt me last night. He kept on hitting the same spot until my skin finally gave out and bled. My entire body is sore. I wonder what life would be like if there was no daddy? Maybe I would play games. Maybe I would have friends. Maybe I would go to school like all the other kids.

Once, I asked daddy why I didn't go to school. He said it's because I was stupid and worthless and I wouldn't be able to learn anyway. I learned to read and write from a book of Mum's. I taught myself how to make out words. Now, I can write my thoughts in here.

I am 7 years old. My birthday was yesterday. I celebrated by scavenging in mum's room. That's when I found this! I hope daddy doesn't find it and take it...

I'm in my tree now. Daddy started yelling so I ran. I found a hole in my tree that my notebook will fit in. I think I will keep it here. It's a little high, though. I have to climb higher than normal.

I almost made it to the hole today! I was almost there but then I slipped. I landed on my knees. They hurt a little but they've hurt worse. Like when daddy steps on them. Right now, they are just a little scraped.

All I can feel is pain. Daddy threw his bottle at me. It shattered on my back. It hurts a lot. I got cut everywhere. I wonder why daddy does this to me. All I've ever done is love him. Yes, I love my daddy. He may be mean, but he's all I have.

I snap the book shut. That's enough for today. It's a blast from the past looking at my little 7 years old's writing. It's not a good memory thought. I remember writing every entry. I remember every night, every moment like a vivid dream constantly playing in the back of my mind. I hesitate before putting my journal in my bag.

I zip everything up and put them beside the door. The entries swirl in my mind and raise questions. Why did that happen to me? Why am I here now? Why was I adopted? What caused me to be where I am right now?

I walk down the stairs and see dad sitting on the couch. He's either taking a break from packing or just procrastinating. I'd say procrastinating.

"Dad? Can I ask you something?" I ask. He turns to me and motions for me to sit down.

"Sure, love. What is it?" He asks.

"Why did you adopt me?" I ask. His face turns solemn. He sighs.

"Well, honestly, Jay was pregnant. We had gotten the room all ready and we were all excited for a new little Directioner. Well, she... Umm, she had a miscarriage. T-The baby died. We went out to adopt you the next day." He says truthfully.

I close my eyes and process the new information. I was a mistake. No, worse. I was a replacement. He wanted a little baby, but he got me instead. I frown

"I'm sorry." I say. He brightens up.

"It's alright! It's all in the past now. I mean, everything happens for a reason! Look where we are now! I'm about to go on tour with my daughter and my 4 best mates!" He exclaims. I laugh at how he can be so bipolar sometimes.

"Well, guess what! I met a new friend today!" I squeal. He raises his eyebrows in concern, probably thinking I found another Gavin.

"Who is he?" He questions.

"She" I correct. His face flushes with relief. "And her name is Emma. She's really nice and bubbly. She is one of your backup dancers. And she's 15, just like me!"

He smiles widely at me.

"I'm proud of you, Aurora. I think it's great you have a friend that's your age. Now, we have to get up early tomorrow. Why don't you head off to bed?" He says. I agree and saunter upstairs, but not before letting out a tired good night. I slip into my comfy sheets and daze off into a blissful night