Grim, Speak the Shadows

Part 9

Now back at his room in the castle, preparations all taken care of, Hunter took his boots and armor off and sat on the edge of his bed. Flapjack, upon realizing his witch was back, chirped excitedly and perched himself on Hunter's shoulder.

Hunter took his scroll out, now that he was alone once more, but hesitated. Should he really be doing this? Twice today he'd gotten distracted by his new friends. Twice in one day! He knew the rest of the night was his to do as he pleased, but ever since his little encounter with Kikimora, he'd been wondering if this whole 'friends' thing was really such a good idea.

Of course he wanted friends. He desperately, so desperately wanted to continue to pretend to be a normal teenager. He wanted to keep pretending that he had friends, that he just had connections outside of the castle--outside of the only life he'd ever known. Belos took him in at a very young age; so young, in fact, that he couldn't even remember his parents' faces. He couldn't really remember anything about his parents at all, to be honest. All he knew was that wild magic killed them, and Belos kindly took him in and raised him to be what he was now. He never got a normal childhood (or if he did, his memories were incredibly foggy). He never got to be like other kids or other teenagers.

And now--now Hunter knew a group of people his own age, who had no connections with the castle whatsoever, and...and, well, all he really wanted now was to hang out with them. To talk with them, to have more flyer derby matches, to just be normal. He knew he was too...different...to ever fit in completely or be normal, but he could pretend he was, couldn't he? Maybe Hunter met them all while undercover, but ignoring the fact that he lied about who he really was, he was sincere about the fun time he had with them.

Ha, fun. Not a word he used to describe things very often, or at least, not in the way that others would agree with. His idea of fun was typically quite different from other people's, but the other day...The other day, he was able to have fun with the others. And today, that little moment with Willow and Gus. He was a part of a team now, a part of the Emerald Entrails.

Or was he? Could he actually learn to fit in with them, or would he just be doomed forever to be stuck here, in the castle?

Doomed...He'd never really considered how he felt about his life before. He'd always just went along with what Belos taught him and never really thought about anything else. Sure, there was his little ongoing rebellion with reading about and studying wild magic, but other than that...Other than that, before Luz, Amity, Willow and the Entrails all came hurtling into his life, there was nothing else. Now though, now Hunter wasn't quite so sure what he wanted. It wasn't like he could just up-and-go and leave everything he'd ever known behind. He was still loyal to Belos and always would be--how could he not after everything his uncle did for him?

That was the problem though, to keep this up--having Flapjack as a palisman, having friends--would contradict with everything Belose drilled into him. He wasn't supposed to have a palisman and he wasn't supposed to be getting distracted by connections outside of the castle. Could he really keep this up? Things had been fine for the past couple of weeks, but what happened when months passed by? Or years, even? Belos was bound to find out eventually.

So...What then?

Hunter groaned and flopped back on his bed, scroll decidedly ignored. Before he met Willow Park, he'd genuinely been content with the way things were, but that was before he got a taste of normalcy. Even just being around others his age for once, like back at Hexside's club fair, made him start to realize that his normal was definitely not the what others would consider it to be. He was starting to realize just how much of an oddity he really was. Hunter was the only child ever raised in the castle, and he was definitely the only teenager to ever be given this much authority in the coven. He was probably the only coven member who actually relatively enjoyed the basic training, and most likely the only witch in the Boiling Isles his age who had the interests he did. It took both Skara and Viney in the groupchat to explain to him very carefully that no, other teenagers were definitely not so on board with the whole 'authority' and 'rules' thing. Then each of the Emerald Entrails went on to shock him with stories of the many times they'd dared to rebel.

It's okay to rebel a little bit if you don't think you're being fairly treated, Willow had so kindly explained to him.

Hunter thought back to his own recent, little rebellions. The wild magic books. Letting the palismen escape. Flapjack. The Emerald Entrails.

He'd been rebelling more and more recently, and though his friends seemed to think it was a good thing, he...was still undecided on that. He still wasn't sure whether or not he'd been making the right decisions lately. Just a few weeks ago, he had no qualms about potentially throwing that human and her friends into the boiling sea, but now...Now he wasn't sure where his morals stood. Things were a mess right now, he was a mess, and he wasn't sure where to go from here.

"Maybe it's best if I...if I stop messaging the chat right now," Hunter said dejectedly, looking at Flapjack, who was now flapping his wings above his head. The palisman chirped and tilted its head.

"I know, I know," Hunter mumbled in reply, feeling miserable. "I don't want to stop either, but what else am I supposed to do? Everything is too complicated right now, and I need some time to sort things out."

Flapjack chirped again. He grabbed a strand of Hunter's hair with his beak and pulled on it.

"Hey!" Hunter exclaimed, pulling away from his crazy palisman. "I won't stop being friends with them or anything, I just need a little time, okay?!" He spread his arms out as he laid there on his bed. "Just a little, then...ugh, I don't know." He reached one arm up to the bird. "What do you think I should do?"

Another series of chirps.

"You don't know either, huh?" Hunter turned to lay on his side and Flapjack landed on his bed, sitting right in front of the witch's face. "Guess we'll just have to figure it out together, then."

He'd log off of Penstagram for a few days, think things over, and then...Well, then they'd just have to see what happened next. He'd use the next few days to think about where his priorities laid before moving forward with anything.

He just hoped that he would make the right decision. Whatever 'right' was.