don't hurt me please I've had enough (Mammon angst)

Chap 4

Keywords:
Thoughts
"talking"

TW: swearing , self hatred

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He was crying then someone saw him crying again someone saw him again weak he didn't like people seeing him weak because they might use it against him..

"hi dude.. why are you crying? If you're comfortable telling me.." the boy said Mammon was shocked someone saw him crying someone saw him weak..

"it's nothing, some dust just got in my eye" he said fake laughing "i dont think that was just some dust your eyes are red and look how wet ur handkerchief is" the boy pointed at the cloth..

"it's jusf water dont worry about it" Mammon said he kept lying "dude you can't trick me im not that dumb" the boy said Mammon sighed and said "ok i was crying... but im not saying what happend.." he said the boy looked at him he understand it was far too sensitive topic for Mammon "you know it's ok to cry right?" The boy said while looking into the sky Mammon looked confused to the boy..

now that he looked closer it was onenof the new students Nero.. he wont tell anyone calm down Mammon..  Mammon thought and Mammon said to nero "i know but they said crying shows weakness.. i dont want people to call me weak.." Mammon said "i must i agree with you but crying doesn't mean weakness you're just letting out all your pain that you've felt before" Nero said while smiling at mammon assuring him that it's ok to cry..

"well if people saw me cry they will say i'm weak.." he replied to nero.."hey dont let what others think about you get to you they're just trying to bring you down" Nero said comforting Mammon "and who cares if people saw you cry you're just letting out your feelings" he said then hugged Mammon.

this feels nice..  As mammon thought while hugging back he needed this "thank you..nero" Mammon said "glad you remember my name, but what's your's i've never got it?" nero said smiling at Mammon "oh it's Mammon" he replied.

"Mammon how about we go to class?" Nero said "sure" they walked ti the exit and left the rooftop Mammon felt like some of his problems went away.

they walked to class and goes to their seat they waited for more students to come Yumi walked in with the new girl yuki glad she has more friends now Mammon thought  "yo Mammon" Yumi greeted him "yo Yumi" he replied.

"look's like you have a new friend" Yumi said while pointing at Nero "yea i guess, you did too yumi" he said looking at Yuki "yea, we met at the cafeteria!" Yuki said cheerfully "how about him, where did you guys meet?" Yumi asked.

"Rooftop, you know" Mammon said "ah, are you ok now?" Yumi replied. Yumi knows when Mammon goes to the rooftop he goes there to clear his mind He never really told yumi that he cries there..

"yea i am now" he said "good tell me if there is something wrong ill help" Yumi says while Mammon Nodded..

the teacher came in and the class started..

AFTER CLASS

Mammon felt anxious he was now going home he was scared what will happen to him... what kind of punishment will he recieve?..

he waited for the others they always go home together but this time Mammon wished that they didn't..

He looks over at the exit and saw his brothers "Mammon we heard you got into a fight from lucifer, what the hell were you thinking!" Satan said while levi and asmo in the background laughing..

"get in now. We are going home, we will talk when we got home Mammon" lucifer said sternly Mammon's anxiety just got worse after hearing that..

the car ride was quiet Mammon was shaking a bit he tried to hide it he did his best..

Now they got home "come Mammon" lucifer said angerly they walked to lucifer's room..

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING MAMMON?, you fought him because he didn't give you what you wanted!" Lucifer shoutedat Mammon "B-but it wasn't m-" he got cutted off by lucifer "Dont give me that bullshit you didn't start it?!, he was more beaten up by you look at yourself you're bearly hurt!!" Lucifer said..

"WHY JUST WHY DO YOU ALWAYS BLAME ME JUST WHY?, I DIDN'T EVEN START IT NOT ONLY THAT YOU BELIEVED HIM OVER YOUR OWN BROTHER!" Mammon said angerly holding his tears..

"Stop lying Mammon!, you know what give me this" Lucifer took his credit card "give that back!" Mammon shouted "NO, and you're grounded Mammon!" lucifer shouted at Mammon.. "Go to your room now!" lucifer said..

Mammon ran to his room locked him self in and cried "he believed him am i not that important that he would believe someone else than me?" He mumbles..

he cries he remembers that dinner was about to come he didn't feel like eating
He looks at him self in the mirror he looked disgusted at him self he looked ugly..

His thoughts spoke louder and louder you're so fat
ew why r u fat
You're so ugly
disgusting
worthless
you should go on a diet
fat
ugly.
useless

he stares at himself not liking how he looks will people like him if he was skinny? will people like him if he made himself useful?..

"ill start losing weight now..." Mammon said he had a goal he had to be skinny and more useful..

he kept thinking about what he looks like
until he heard a knock "Mammon its time to eat!" That voice it was beel "beel im not hungry you guys eat." Mammon replied "huh arent you hungry?" Beel said "no"

"ok.. mammon eat if you are hungry, ok?" Beel said he didnt get a reply he went down stairs the brothers looked at beel "where's mammon?"..

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Noo mammon eat food
2 chapters done today lets gooo ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ