𝐄𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐁𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞, 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝
𝐋𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐚 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐇𝐢𝐥𝐥 | 𝐋𝐚𝐢 𝐋𝐚𝐢
I stood in the line and held Kior on my hip. It was hot outside so I took her on a Rita's date with her mommy. It was supposed to be just me and her but Kiordre decided that he would be tagging along.
I don't be caring when he come though because everything is free. I don't have to pay a thing and honestly, it's a good life to live. Beautiful life.
"I swear you the baddest girl I ever seen." Kiordre said staring at me causing me to blush. "You don't look better than my baby though."
He grabbed Kior from me and lifted her in the air. "You so pretty mama. You look so pretty!"
I smiled at them as he started holding her close. She started squealing in excitement as he rubbed his nose against hers. "Want some ice cream little girl?" I asked looking over at her as we moved up in the line.
"Don't get her too much. Ion want her to mess her clothes up and stuff." He said fixing her in his arms.
I rolled my eyes at him. "I'm gonna make sure she don't mess them up."
He eyed me before nodding his head. "We gotta have more kids."
I coughed and stepped up to order the ice cream. I wouldn't be interacting with that statement at all. I ordered our ice cream and stepped to the other side to get it. Kiordre started taking pictures of us together.
"Come on Lulu, stop allat moving." He said. I grabbed her from him and put her against my chest. I loved my baby so I knew she would feel that. I always made sure I told her and expressed to her how much she meant to me.
Regardless if she could understand or not.
I just know how it feels to not know how your mother really feels about you. Or feel how she feels. Growing up, my mom wasn't affectionate to us at all. Only on birthdays she would tell us how much she loved us.
She played around with us but that was it. That was what our relationship was based off of. Not until, I got pregnant with Kior that she started being more affectionate with me.
More understanding, more nurturing. Not only for me but for Kior as well. She knew that this situation would be something hard for me to live with and move through.
Don't get me wrong, even though I feel like my mother could've done better I knew she did the best she could for me and my 4 brothers and sisters. I was the third oldest so it was hard to understand why I got pregnant at a younger age.
Everything I think my mother should've done, I do for my baby. I want her to be happy. I want her to feel my love and support. I don't want my baby to ever feel alone. Ever feel a ounce of sadness or depression.
Mostly, I don't want my baby to go through none of the shit I go through with her dad. I want her to understand and love herself enough to know that she deserves the world and nothing less.
"Come on Lulu," Kiordre groaned smacking his lips at Kior as she smacked her lips tasting the ice cream.
"Don't do that." I said mugging him as I wiped her mouth with a baby wipe. "Shes tasting it."
