Karydiarn

Jeez

"So...what do you.... guys do.... for fun... round here....". I puffed, lying flat on my back on the cold, hard ground.
"Heh... well... train, sometimes we have bonfires... drinks..."
"Huh... So no little town... with a bar.. or a club?"
"Afraid not."
"Where'd you get your food from?"
"I'm pretty sure we head out to th- shoot! Get up! Come on!"
"Dude! We just finished!"
The dead serious look he gave me, had me on my feet faster then I'd have given credit for. He started to jog on silently, so I followed suit.

A couple minutes passed before we reached a clearing. But still we carried on. Until we reached the clearing for the training field near the pack house.
This place was quite a bit more populated. Primary schoolers to oldies, who looked like they should be moving onto a walker, were doing some form of training. Making me feel slightly pathetic at all my complaining.

We'd slowed to a brisk walk as we passed the fields, I did my best to hide behind Taylor - from all the stares and glares - thankfully he noticed my efforts and slowed his pace a little.

When we neared the house I risked a look back, something nagged at me. I quickly scanned across the area, finally noticing the alpha doing some extreme form of training whilst pack members cowered beside him or put on a brave face - probs praying they don't mess up right now. A soft but prominent breeze picked up the cool air, waving fly-aways across my face; refreshing but turning my sweat into cold perspiration which isn't the nicest. Taylor had called that he was heading up to shower. I agreed that I'd need one too.
Looking over again, I unconsciously drew my brows at the alpha suddenly shooting up into a tense standing position. Even at this safe distance I could see his head whipping in different directions, he took a step one way, then another, and another before he took a step this way. Followed by another. And another. And another. And... shit. Shit. No he's just heading to the pack house. Probably been mind-linked about some business or something. I subtly sniff myself, wincing at the weak perfume and much stronger personal scent. Shite. With one more glance back, I casually stroll inside. After a few mistimes, I'm able to locate my room. Grabbing the spray, I spritz some outside the door and around the room before going straight to the shower.

**

A few days have passed and I've been mostly keeping to myself; aside from Taylor and Magnus, and sometimes with their friends, who have managed to warm up to me, mostly, now.
Although today was slightly different. Not massively, but still.
So I got up early for a training session with Taylor; me and Magnus and some of his friends did some revision together, and when I went down for lunch, was when I heard the first few rumours circulating.
The alpha is looking for a mate. More specifically the alpha is looking for a mate, not the mate or the Luna. Just someone he's handpicked with the best capabilities and no doubt, hip birthing qualities. Yeah! If you can believe that! So far I've managed to piece together that the mini council for this pack require a strong, eligible heir to take on the alpha responsibility. Not to mention the added unity and power the Luna brings.
To be honest, and what surprised my wolf, was that my first thought wasn't the fact that my fated mate was looking for another mate. But that I was glad I hadn't been found out yet, or my hips and capabilities would be measured and I'd have all this bull-shit about being a Luna and a mother. Eugh.
Or on the other hand I'd be deemed unworthy or unsuitable and cast out or killed - I'd imagine anyway.

(Also don't panic, I'm not being literal about the hips thing - it's just in a load of period movies there's always some old dude commenting on a woman's 'suitable birthing hips' - or most recently Anthony in Bridgeton, let me down their ;)

Anyways, the fact that he was my mate was only at about 3rd or 4th place. Is that bad? That I'm accepting my life of no true mate? I suppose I'm getting my requested 'human' life style.
Although it does make me depressed - at the fact that I'll never get a fulfilment in life I know  I could've had; settling for what I know is second best. What could be. What could've been. What is... Oh life can be so complicated!