Karydiarn

Failure

Through a string of curse words many things in this world have begun. Or ended. Or endured. And right now I believe it is only the beginning.

"I never wanted a mate in the first place!"
He growled ferociously.
"Fine! Neither did I!" I yelled back before storming out, making sure to slam the door.
Stupid mother fucking pile of fucking bullshit fucking idiot!

Agh I cannot believe this!

I shouldn't  be feeling this upset.
I've heard him state things like this, only way worse.
I've seen him assess if someone is 'good enough' to be his mate.
But this time it was to my face.
And he knew exactly who I was.
It had to happen at some point.
Though preferably that time would've been when I was free to leave for good and do what I please.
Or at the very least, able to go back home.
But nope.
Instead, we are stuck here, on the royal pack lands for who knows how long!

I think back to what it was like, just a few weeks ago. I'd been freaking out then, not for one second thinking it could get any worse. Well, it did. And man was I unprepared..

End of FutureFlash {starting where we left off last chapter :) }

Once the group had left the library, I'd hastily grabbed my stuff and headed straight for my room. I need to speak to Carl. I'm not sure if they'll have the gall to ask this- no probably demand this, in fact will they even bother in speaking with Carl? Either way I certainly intend to, even if he can do nothing. I fire of a text to him stating the urgency of a little catch-up. I have to prepare myself anyhow, just incase it ends up as a grab and run situation, I don't wanna be losing all my stuff.

An hour later and I'd done a majority of loos packing and shoving things around, once satisfied, I hurried outside to give Carl a call.

"So what do you think?"
"I think, that there's really nothing I can do if they do decide they need you. If they ask my permission I will not give it. Even if it means rehoming you, you'd be much more at risk if you aligned with the royals."
"So I'll just hang around then. Waiting to be kidnapped?"
"That's if the worst happens, I should be attending one of the royal balls myself so I could see you there."
"Hang on! We're still meant to be preventing this from happening at all!"
"All I can say is at least both the royals and the Banes have a common dislike of the council."

Well that was a very useful phone call.
I don't even know when their planning on doing this. I know they'd need to take me out of school. Maybe it wouldn't be all that bad...
No I can't think like that!

However, I soon found out that only after a period of procrastination does one truly get an insight into their situation.

The only things that's stopping me from leaving this pack and any other pack (including home) is school, just needing to get those last grades, then I can go.
But, would it be possible to leave now, enrol myself somewhere to finish and then carry on doing my own thing?

It's not a terrible plan. Just a risky one.

                               ****

I stroll out into natures open arms, armed with a simple backpack; the further I meandered the further encompassed I felt, by the wilderness. Every shade and denomination of greens and browns were harshly enhanced due to the gradually dispersing summer fleets of brightly dashed colours, and sweet scents.
Following no particular path, I ventured further into this vortex of natural wonder. Nothing in this world could ever give me the same feelings as nature.
The feeling of complete harmony and acceptance, as if the moment you step from the grasp of everyday modern living and the problems they bring, you are set free as your transported into a whole different world.
Base primal instincts begin to sound more intriguing than the movie night and snacks you may have planned.
The thrumming heart beat that comes with becoming a predator on the search of prey.
The second you pounce, securing yourself of natural needs, your instincts satiated, the part of your brain, seemingly asleep, suddenly woken by the wholly act.
It's almost like a highly expensive therapy session, because nature brings no judgement to the meeting, no grudges, no predetermined state.
Just you. Just nature. Just, at one.

There's no way I can do this, but at the same damn time there's every way.