She kissed the scars on his skin.

Chapter 29

I have the early stages of breast cancer. The test results came back just after Tony left for Australia. I am scheduled to have a double mastectomy today. I told them I wanted them off. Then it can't get me. I know it sounds extreme but that gene means it could come back and strike somewhere else too so I'm getting rid. Piercing the Veil. Getting the problem sorted from the root. Danielle knows but I swore her to secrecy. I don't want Tony panicking from the other side of the world. I know he will and I'm not having that. He will be back in a few days anyway and the hospital are hopeful I'll be able to go home pretty quickly. Danielle is coming with me today. She knows how scared I am and after that first meeting we've become good friends. She's basically the only person outside of work who knows and I'm so grateful for her for being with me today. I spent last night here and I'm scheduled for surgery at midday. Danielle is coming back in an hour before I go down and has said she will wait for me to wake up. I haven't told my family. I know they've been through it already and I'm pretty sure they won't go out of their way to visit me at any point so I don't see any point in telling them.
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Holy crap, that hurts. I feel like I've been bashed in the chest with a sledgehammer, repeatedly.
I've just woken up and thrown up, that's how bad the pain is. Danielle has buzzed for a nurse who comes running. She doses me up with morphine through the drip in my hand and gives me some ice to suck on to quench the thirst. Poor Danielle is in tears so I reach for her hand and squeeze it to let her know I'm ok. The morphine is kicking in and I feel less pain. All I want is Tony but I'm not pulling him back off this tour. Sleep takes me away to him in my dream. We are sitting on a porch of a beachside house, kids all around us. We are older, but looking at us very much still in love. There are banners up saying "Golden anniversary."
That's 50 years of marriage. Blimey. We aren't even engaged yet but I'm dreaming this. This morphine is good stuff.