Peaky Blinders Imagines✔️

Tommy- Feeling Guilty

I have grown up alongside Tommy and his brothers as our mothers were best friends. When their mother died I was their for all of them, being similar age as Tommy I helped them raise Finn. When the boys went away to war I was allowed to help Polly and Ada in the betting shop. When they returned things were different with all of them, but Tommy was still my best friend. Then Grace came along. She didn't like me hanging around Tommy so much, but that didn't stop Tommy. They got married, but shortly after Grace was shot. This was extremely hard on Tommy, now having to raise his boy alone. Months had gone by and I was with Charles more and more as they days passed
"Tom, you maybe wanna take a break?" I ask leaning on the doorframe of his study
"Uh no YN. I have to get this work done" he says expressionless not looking at me once
"Well is there anything I can do?" I ask walking into his study making him sigh. I sit in the chair opposite him
"You can leave me alone to work"
"Tommy you've got to stop burying yourself in your work and deal with the emotions of loosing Grace"
"And what would you know about any of that"
"Tom that's not fair"
"No what's not fair is that I lost my wife and your sitting there telling me how I should deal with it" Tommy raises his voice at me now looking at me
"I'm not saying I understand what it's like" I sit up "but maybe..."
"It's not as simple as you think" Tom sighs
"Then talk to me. Before the war you'd always talk to me. I've stood by your side when your mother died, when your dad left, I held your hand through sleepless nights when you were screaming because of the war. I helped to bring Finn up, hell I'm bringing Charlie up while your in here. Where were you in the last 3 months when James left me and broke our engagement off for another woman? where were you last year when my mother died. But hey as long as Thomas Shelby is happy eh" I get up from my seat and start to walk over to the door
"YN..." Tommy sighs standing
"You know what Tommy come find me when you want to actually be my friend" I walk out of the study.

Tommy finds me later on in Charlie's bedroom. I just put him down for a nap
"Can we talk?" Tommy asks quietly
"Fine. Not in here. Don't want to wake Charlie up with our yelling"
"No yelling. Come on" Tommy leads me into the living room
"I'm sorry" I raise my brows at Tommy as I sit down
"Tommy Shelby apologising, this is a first"
"YN please be serious" Tommy sits next to me "you were right. I wasn't there for you through the break up or when your mother died and for that I'm sorry. I shouldn't treat you like that. I haven't just been dealing with Grace's death"
"What do you mean? the business?"
"No YN. The reason I've been pushing you away is because I feel so guilty"
"About what?" I ask confused
"When I came back from the war and you helped me. I started to fall for you, but then you starting to go steady with James and I had that one night stand with Grace. Yes there were feelings between us but I loved you. I was going to tell you after the races, but then she told me she was pregnant. I had to marry her"
"You didn't have to" I sigh "I wanted nothing more than you to say that to me. I only went steady with James to get over my feeling for you"
"You didn't have to say yes to him"
"What choice did I have? you were marrying Grace. I had no idea how you felt about me"
"And I didn't know how you felt about me" we sit in silence on the sofa looking at each other
"So what now?" I ask
"Whatever you want"
"What do you want?" I notice Tommy's eyes flicker down to my lips
"I'm done feeling guilty. I want you to be mine" Tommy licks his lips and leans in
"Me to" I whisper before our lips connect. Tommy pulls away and places a hand on my cheek
"Tomorrow I would like you to accompany me to the races"
"Like a date?" I smile
"Yeah a date"
"Then yes Mr Shelby. I'd love to" we kiss again before Charlie's cries break us apart
"I'll go" Tommy kisses my forehead and gets up. I can't help but smile and feel supper happy.