Peaky Blinders Imagines✔️

Sister Shelby- War

Trigger Warning- talk about poor mental health, PTSD, depression and anxiety
This one was a request 😊

The war changed everyone. I volunteered to be a nurse while my brothers were soldiers. I had no idea where they were stationed at the time. Although I wasn't in the frontline that didn't matter because we were bombed. I remember seeing many soldiers and nurses loose their lives that day, I was one of the lucky ones, if you could call me that.
When we returned home my kind caring brothers who used to hug me became stern and hard faced. Arthur drinks all the time, Tommy uses drugs, John uses girls, me? well I'm more of  a suffer in silence type. I barley sleep anymore because every time I try to sleep I can hear the bombs, see the blood, the bodies of my friends lying on the floor.

Last night was no different, I lay in bed tossing and turning, every time I closed my eyes I was back there, so I gave up in the end. I'm now sat in our private room at the Garrison cradling a drink in my hand
"Bloody hell YN you look rough" Isaiah says walking through the door and noticing how tired I probably look
"Thanks Isaiah right back at you" i grumpily say then realise that it was probably a little rude "sorry, just tired. Haven't been sleeping very well"
"Getting a little to much action 'ave ya" Isaiah comments laughing earning an eye roll from me
"Obviously not, you think my brothers would let anyone in the house?"
"She's right" Arthur sips his drink.
As the night goes on I begin to get more tired and anxious about being out so late. Arthur and John have also become very rowdy and began banging on the tables making me flinch
"You know what I think I'm just gonna head home" I shakily take in a breath knowing that even if I go home to sleep, I won't sleep. I hear my older brother grunt in response
"Get a drink down ya, that'll help"
"Drinking doesn't solve all of your problems Arthur" I yell, my tiredness really getting to me
"Woah it was just a suggestion" he holds up his hands in defence. I get up and leave my nearly full drink on the table and walk out of the pub.
I lean on the wall outside taking in deep breaths
"Now what are you doing out here in the cold aye?" I look up to see Tommy frowning at me with a cigarette in his mouth "I noticed you flinching earlier so come on tell me what's going on"
"I don't want to burden you with anything"
"YN I'm your older brother, come on I'll take you home then you can tell me what's been going on.

The walk home from the pub was quiet, Tommy puffing on his cigarette with his hands in his pockets. As always people move out of the way for us, not wanting to piss off a Shelby. Arriving at the house Tommy and I walk through the door and into the kitchen
"Sit down" he orders, I sigh in response putting my head in my hands. Again it's silent until a hot cup of tea is placed in front of me and Tommy sits opposite "come on tell me what's been going on" my eyes start to tear up
"Before we went away, things were so simple Tom. I was able to walk around without worrying about being shot or a bloody bomb going off" Tommys face changes for a brief second, also probably thinking the same as me "at night I hear them" I say in almost a whisper "the bombs. I remember seeing men come in with no limbs, sometimes I'd assist taking their limbs. One soldier was screaming telling me that his legs were on fire and begging me to amputate... they had already been blown off Tom. For 4 years I dealt with the shit of war and now we're home I'm reliving every moment. When I hear something loud my heart races and it's like I'm back there helping the soldiers and moving them to the huts. I can't sleep at night and it's only making things worse... I just want to feel normal again Tom I hate it" I now let the tears flow and for the first time in about 5 years Tommy pulls me into a hug making me cry even more
"Shhh, shhh I know I know. The wars fucked all of us up in one way or another. I didn't think how this could have effected the nurses and doctors that saved us and treated us. I'm going to help you through this, it won't be easy but I'm here for you so are your other brothers, Ada and poll. You'll be ok YN. You need a good sleep"
"I can't Tommy I can't sleep" I cry into his chest
"I'll be right by you, you don't have anything to worry about, I'll watch over you I promise"
"Thank you Tom" I sniffle.

That night Tommy kept his promise and I actually manage to sleep through the night. Tommy talked to my other brothers and aunt Polly and we have all agreed to help one of another. Hopefully things will now start to look up with the help of my brothers by my side.