Peaky Blinders Imagines✔️

Tommy- Old Love Pt3

The following day I decide that I do need to speak to Tommy. So leaving Charlie at my parents house I pluck up the courage and head to the betting shop a place I know and remember all to well. On arrival I find John having a chat with Finn while they smoke
"Hey YN"
"Hi. Is Tommy here?" I ask nervously
"Yeah. In his office"
"Thanks"
"If I hear shouting I'll come and rescue you" John  jokes. We always were quite close. I walk into the betting shop and over to Tommys office. Taking in a deep breath I knock on the door
"What?" I hear a grump Thomas shout
"Hey" I quietly say opening the door
"YN" his head snaps up. His eyes meet mine. Those damn eyes that I fell in love with. I quickly look away "what are you doing here?"I sit down in the chair in front of Tommys desk "everyone has told me we need to talk"
"What about you? Do you think we need to talk?" Tommy crosses his arms over his chest
"Yeah I do actually"
"Well" he gestures with his hand for me to continue
"I don't really know where to start"
"How about you start with the reason why you left"
"Is that a serious question Tom?"
"Of course it is" he raises his voice "you left when I needed you. You left with my son YN!"
"What about when I needed you Tom! What about when I was struggling after giving birth!" I stand up shouting
"I was a war!"
"So was I!" I close my eyes trying to stop tears
"What are you on about?" I sit back down in the seat. After a moment of silence I finally look back at Tommy
"Before you came home, I went to an asylum"
"What!" Tommy stand up looking furious
"After I had Charlie, I couldn't cope. Polly called it the baby blues, but it never went away. Our neighbours called the police because Charlie was crying and I wasn't doing anything. I was. I was trying to get him to be quiet but I just started to break down. They took me away, gave Polly custody of Charlie and I went to an asylum. Tommy it was horrible" I can no longer hold my tears back "they would shock me and prod me. Thankfully Polly got me out and I had custody of Charlie again. By the time you came home I blocked it all out. I had no feelings for Charlie for a while, when he cried I would sit there letting Polly or my mum care for him. I got better, but when you came home I had to look after you, it made me sad again"
"Fucking hell YN"
"When I saw you with the barmaid, it practically killed me Tom"
"Why didn't you tell me any of this?"
"How could I. You were dealing with the shock after war. I was failing at being a mother. How do you tell the man you love, the father of your baby that you didn't love said baby. Of course I love him now, but I was struggling"
"I wish you had told me" Tommy sighs sitting back down
"I know. I'm sorry. Mum said something yesterday which made me realise that I've been blaming you for everything that happened but I didn't speak to you, I took your son from you and moved. I'm sorry"
"So what's going to happen now?" I shrug
"I'd like you to be apart of Charlie's life"
"What about where you live? Will you come back home?"
"No. We're divorced Tom. I'm not moving back in with you, but if things go well and we can get on, I'll move in with my parents"
"Ok" Tommy rubs his hands over his face "you know I never stopped loving you"
"What about when you slept with her, or god knows who else"
"I was trying to get over you. Never fell in love again"
"So you still love me?"
"Yeah. Yeah I do"
"I still love you too, but I can't just jump back into a life with you"
"I understand. Polly's having all of us for dinner tomorrow, come, bring Charlie and your parents. Let's just start with being friends again"
"I'll think about it. I best go" I get up from the seat
"Maybe see you tomorrow"
"Maybe" I leave Tommys office
"You left him alive in there?" Arthur asks
"Yeah don't worry. See you around" I wave the boys goodbye and leave the betting shop to go back to my parents house.