Rescue Me 💠 Slow Updates

Experiences

I was building my life again. The first time was easy it was something I wanted. My daughter had already become somewhat apart of this world and I wanted to join her so desperately. This time it was different. I was so scared that it will all be ripped away again. Everything I did was so cautious. I knew this wasn't away to live but I couldn't help it. I didn't know what life was. Last time I finally started to feel safe and not the fear it was plucked from me. How was I supposed to move on from the fear. I was more scared I would loose Aurora. A shinning bubbly bright light Aurora, she didn't get what was going on. She has this perfectly life where bad thing didn't touch her and I wish everyday that I could be apart of that world but I can't. I'm to tainted, to much pain and suffering. All I can do is make sure her world remains as perfect as possible for as long as possible.

Thankfully after seeing that I was kidnapped over the week my teacher got rid of the fail. She wanted me to wait, to heal. But I couldn't I had to do this test. That's all apart from Aurora that was keeping me going. I do this test I'm one step closer to a place of my own and that is the dream. We couldn't live in Erin's tiny one bedroom apartment forever no matter how cool it is. Me and Aurora sleep on an air mattress on the floor, sometimes if Erin was late she told us to take the bed. The air mattress move around sometimes it was in the bedroom others the living room. It was home for now at least. Or the only home I know. It's where Aurora was happy and comfortable, that's where I needed to be. With the most important person to me.

I felt uneasy I had just done my final test and now I was waiting for the results. I probably wouldn't relax until I got the results. Everything hinges on me passing. I didn't tell anyone. Thankfully Aurora was spending the day with Kelly and Sylvie. So I didn't have to worry about that. I sent Hank a message telling him I'll be late but nothing else. "What time do you call this" Adam mused sipping his coffee "time to work plus I wouldn't talk you showed up two hours late last week because your clock stopped working" I snap hearing a few laughs after "at least I told people" I muse smiling I put my stuff at my desk before telling Hank I was here.

I open the email with hesitation. No one really knew what was happening until I gasped. "I passed" I smile reading the email again and again before I notice the confused "Oh uh I took my final test recently I can graduate" I inform which led to a series of cheers and congratulation.

Now I'm stuck. Of course I'm thrilled with the fact I can graduate. But now it's...I don't know what to do. A cop no I don't want to see people in situations like I was. I do however want to solve crime. A doctor to fix people. A firefighter to help people I just didn't know. I'm leaning away from that one despite how amazing it seems. Ill have to do my research, see if there is a job that's kinda a combination of doctor and police without the field work. I had time though.

Right now currently I'm going to give my daughter experiences, that's my focus. When we were in the basement she couldn't experience things as simple as leaves falling from trees or snow. So we have a lot to experience and learn together. I also wanted to take her places but that needed more money than I currently have. It was autumn so the simple things I will be able to show her. The leaves, their sound all of it.

"I'm going to take Rorie girl on an adventure I don't know where but I just want her to see things that are close and far" I told them "we are working next week" Erin said practically inviting herself which I'm glad about. I'm weird with inviting people. "Yeah let's show Rorie the world" Adam said nodding as he smiled slowly they all agreed to come "ok but where are we going" Jay asks I shrug "I have no idea the worlds change a lot and I" "how about we plan it that way you can experience things to" Erin suggested making me nod.

"Mumma mumma look" Aurora squealed throwing leavings in the air. She giggled watching them fall gracefully to the floor. We were at some park I don't know, we just found it when walking. I smile watching her crunch the leaves. Something so simple that many would look the other way, not even notice was so beautiful to us. I guess when your deprived of basically everything the smallest simplest things are beautiful. Like rain, we could hear it when it was heavy but she never know what it was. The concept of water falling from the sky blew her mind. She didn't believe me when I told her it was water falling from the sky she called me crazy and laughed thinking I was joking. But to see her twirl it it experience that tiny simple thing that no one thinks about for the very first time, Hear her scream you were right mumma. It was something uniquely beautiful. I loved watching the excitement and happiness flow out of her it was my favourite thing. I had experienced a lot before I was taken so it wasn't the same as her experiencing it for the first time. But the world has changed dramatically from technology to car to just society itself. So it was new to me as well to an extent. I think I just needed to get away for a bit. Maybe than the constant fear of everything being ripped away will leave me.