✰ Rap Star ⤑ Changlix

12

I stare at the microphone in my hands, clenching the plastics and metal every few seconds. I'm not a good singer. Changbin keeps telling me I'm not horrible and I have the perfect voice for this song we are presenting today, but I'm still scared. What if I mess up and people make fun of Changbin for picking someone bad? I feel arms wrap around me, a chest pressing against my back.
"You'll do just fine, babe. I'm going to be sitting right in front watching. Just look at me. No one else," Changbin whispers into my ear.
I take a deep breath and lean into him. His warm breath and soft voice is comforting. I close my eyes and enjoy his hug. "What if I mess up?"
"Then you mess up. We all make mistakes."
"That's hilarious coming from the guy that works excessively to make sure he never messes up," I retort.
"Don't get sassy with me. You'll be fine, I promise. They'll love you. Not as much as me, but they'll still like it," Changbin reassures. Of course he has to add cunning words to make my blood rush into my cheeks. "It's not a big class, I promise. It's fifteen people in total. That's thirty if you include their partners. You've rapped in front of about two hundred before. This is nothing. Plus, it's a song we both wrote. You know it just as well as I do. Even if you mess up, it's not really messing up."
Damn him and his way with words. He makes it feel stupid to be shy. The doors open to the lecture hall, allowing students to file in. Changbin and I make sure to find a spot in the front. Thankfully we aren't the first to present their piece. His classmates are really good. The songs they made are amazing, but I have to say, Changbin's is by far the best. In what feels like no time at all, it's my turn to perform. I sit on a stool in front of the fifteen classmates and teacher of my boyfriend, as well as another fifteen students that are the other singers. It's nerve wracking. I take a deep breath and lock my eyes on Changbin. He's smiling softly at me. Right. My boyfriend is right there, cheering me on. That's all I need.
The music starts playing quickly after. I tap my foot against the floor to remind myself of when to start singing.

"Cause I like you
There's no other reason, I like you
When I watch you smile, there's nothing more I could ask for
'Cause I just like you"

Thinking about it now, this song fits too perfectly with Changbin and I's relationship. We've been dating for almost a month and a half now. Time really flies by when you are having fun. I have been. For the first time I like something so much it doesn't take tons of energy to get out of bed. I'm happy to see him everyday. It's so weird how much I love him in such a short time. We just get each other. I've never had someone read my mind the way he does. It's like he knows every crease in my palm.

"I just wanna ask you about your day
Listening to your stories has become my hobby
It feels like the shortest time of the day
I wanna listen to all your worries
Let me share your load
So you can break free from the heavy burden
You've been carrying"

This first verse keeps reminding me of Changbin. It's like a secret message to me. The thing is though, I feel this way about him too. I want to hear it all even if it's stupid. Even the time he was worried about the future, I enjoyed being the one he went to. He could've talked to Chris, but he told me. My heart aches in pain from the affection I hold for him.

"You can lean on me
Until your cloud of worries disappear from your clear eyes
What's giving you such a hard time?
I'm serious, I'd rather hurt instead of you
Seeing you smile makes me happy
Even though you look the prettiest when you smile
When you just wanna cry, don't fake a smile"

This sounds like the time I cried into his neck when we talked about Hyunjin and Minho. Does he really think I'm pretty when I smile? Is it really okay to cry when I want? I'm actually a huge cry baby. It's hard to hold it back. Will he be okay with that? Why does he know me so well? It's only been a month and he writes a song about us that sounds like we've been together for years. He says he's scared of the future, but his talent is so amazing. I wish I could express that to him. As I end the song, claps start to echo through the room. I quickly stand, bow, hand the microphone to the next singer, and head back to Changbin. When I take my seat, he grabs my hand underneath the long desk we sit behind. He gives it a squeeze. It's his way of saying good job. I'm glad he liked it.
When we escape class, Changbin wraps me in a hug. "You did so good," he tells me.
I let my arms encircle his waist. I want to say something, but I halt my lips from continuing when I feel a wet substance rolling down my neck. He's crying. "I kind of wish we didn't share that song. Now that people know it, they might sing it. That song belongs to your voice, not anyone else's," he complains quietly.
"Don't be like that. It's a song about undoubting love. Everyone with a lover can sing it," I say.
"They'll taint it," Changbin whines back.
"They won't. Plus, it doesn't matter cause our love isn't built off a song. The song is built off our love. It's not our love that is getting tainted."
My boyfriend looks up at me with a pout. I laugh and wipe his teary eyes. Thankfully he's not sobbing. We are in the middle of the hallway after all. "You did really amazing though," he compliments.
"Thank you for writing such a beautiful song."

The rest of the day I spend practicing the dance for Changbin's birthday. He has other classes so it gives me time alone to go over everything before tomorrow. I'm nervous, but not as much as I was yesterday. Today made me realize that as long as Changbin likes it, I don't actually care what others think. They don't see the effort I put into it, so what they say doesn't matter. This thought stays on my mind all through out the night and when the time comes for us to leave for the club the next day, I find myself unable to stop smiling.