✰ Rap Star ⤑ Changlix

27

"I just don't understand, Minho. Am I in the wrong? Am I really moving too fast?"
Minho sighs and rubs my shoulders. I've just finished telling him about Changbin and I's fight. "There is no too fast or too slow. You take the pace you feel is right. Only you can decide when you feel ready. You aren't in the right, but you aren't wrong either. Changbin should have explained it better or at least watched his words," I nod as he continues. "but even so, we make mistakes when we are angry. Especially Changbin. A part of loving him is trying your best to understand. I think you were a bit dramatic when you took off your ring. It wasn't the right move. That's a promise to stay by his side. You should only take it off if you seriously want to break up. Which I know you don't. That action alone probably affected him way more than you can ever believe."
I know Minho is right. He isn't the type to comfort people. He says it straight like it is. I appreciate that fact. It still hurts though.
"I'm just so pissed. He knows how much I hate being called fragile, frail, weak, or anything close to it," I whisper.
"I know. I think you should head home and wait for him to reach out. If it takes more than three days you should start the contact. Changbin is scary, but he's also scared. He doesn't like being the bad guy to people. There's a very good chance his mind processed this as a break up. We can't read his thoughts but If I know anything about Changbin from three years of knowing him, it's that he's just as weak as you. Maybe not physically, but mentally for sure," Minho finishes up his massage with these words.
The next day I think them over, and over, and over. I think until my head spins and I have to take medicine for a headache. There's also a raging thunderstorm outside which worsens my condition. I can't help but cry with the sky. It hurts. I just want to understand him but I can't do that without communication. I hear my door creak open. It's most likely just the wind so I don't give it much attention. I just continue to cry into my hands. The salty tears are so annoying. I wipe and wipe; they keep rolling down. Out of nowhere I feel another weight on my bed. Wet arms wrap around my body, pulling me toward them. I know it's Changbin by the feel of his build. He's soaking wet. It's no doubt it's from the rain outside. His drenched hair meets the back of my neck.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Felix. Please put your ring back on. I'll tell you everything."
He's crying too. I can hear it in his voice. I hate hearing him like this. I turn around and brush his hair out of his face. He's sniffing, trying to keep more tears from rolling down his face. I wipe them away. My own sobs are hard to control. "I'm sorry for taking it off." I manage to say. It's actually really hard not to choke from my lack of air. I make it out alive. Changbin slips the ring on my finger and pulls me close. We stay like this for who knows how long. After we settle down, Changbin takes a shower so he doesn't get a cold. He comes out a few minutes later dressed in my clothes. My boyfriend takes the spot next to me on my bed, his face nuzzling into my chest.
I simply sigh and grab the towel around his neck, trying my best to dry his hair. "Are you ready to tell me now?"
Changbin nods and pulls himself up. I wait patiently for him to speak. My stomach is swarming with an anxious feeling. I'm ready for the worst. "My moms the CEO of a huge fashion brand. When I was in high school she was always pushing me towards that position. She wanted me to take over the family business because my sister wasn't good enough or something like that. When I finished Highschool I told my sister that I didn't want to stick around the company for the rest of my life. So we agreed to convince my parents that she take over in my place. She'd prove herself worthy of the company. They weren't pleased when I rejected everything they'd planned out for me. I wouldn't be either after spending so much money with the thought that my son would do what I planned. We managed to come to an agreement. They'd let me do what I want but if I slacked off at all I'd have to start working at the company to get experience. Because of this there was an awkward air around us. All we did was argue for so long. I wish that was all but there's more. Two years ago I, regrettably, told them I didn't like just girls. They kept pushing for me to find someone but I wasn't ready. They were so angered by the fact I wasn't normal that they kicked me out. They give me money, sure, but I can't even remember the last time I talked to them. I haven't gone home since. My sister is who I communicate with," Changbin tells me this with his eyes cast to his hands. "It's not that I don't want you to meet them. Anyone in love feels the want to introduce their family to the person they see their future with. I'm no different. I'm just scared. It's my way of protecting you and myself. I don't want you to get hurt. You are so open but also easily affected by what people say. I want to protect you."
I snuggle up to him as he finishes. I'm glad it's not anything worse. I think over how to reply to him for a moment. "Do you want to tell them?" I ask.
Changbin hesitates. "Yes."
"Then let's tell them. It doesn't matter what happens. In the end, you'll have me. My family will become yours even if your real parents reject it. They can't control that. We can't know how they feel unless we talk to them. I know you hate communicating. It's scary. We should at least try though, don't you think? Your sister still loves you. There's a chance your parents have accepted that you won't change. You shouldn't change. There's nothing wrong with who you are, Changbin. If they don't see that; if they don't like me just because I'm a guy, then you don't need to keep them around. We'll ditch them and make it on our own. Before we do that, we should find out for sure if they really don't love you. There is a chance they think you despise them and never want to see them again, so they stay away."
Changbin nods. "We'll get through it. I promise," I whisper.
"I'm sorry for everything I said," Changbin mutters back.
"It's okay. It hurt but I knew there was something wrong. Taking my ring off was a childish act on my part too. I'm sorry that I did that. I won't do it again."
My boyfriend pulls me down from the headboard and brings me closer. We snuggle for the rest of the evening until it's dinner time.