✰ Rap Star ⤑ Changlix

17

So I guess this is our first fight. I turn over in my bed and glare at my phone. Changbin has been leaving me on read. It isn't that alone that upsets me, but the fact that he hasn't even tried to make plans with me. It gives me more time to hang out with Hyunjin and Minho, but I've been doing that for almost two weeks straight. I haven't missed a day. I want my boyfriend to spend time with me. I want to snuggle up and watch a movie. I sigh and look at the movies that are playing in the theater. I see a decent movie and take a screenshot that I send to Changbin.
-Wanna see this with me?
He doesn't look at it until later that night. Thankfully I'm not left on read this time. I don't get what I want either though.
-I'm busy
My eyes close in frustration. There's something up.
-You can't make time? If a movie is too long then can we call for a little sometime? I think we should talk about what's wrong between us.
Changbin calls me a few minutes later. "Changbin, what's wrong?" I ask, pulling myself under the covers of my bed.
"Nothing, why? I'm just busy with some assignments," he says, a creak echoing through the phone. He's probably sitting down in a chair.
"If that were the case you would've told me ahead of time that you'd be busy," I tell him.
"If I can do that why can't you?" He mumbles.
My brows furrow. That was a straight up attack. Now I know without a doubt that he's upset.
"What do you mean by that?"
Changbin let's out a deep sigh. "I just mean, if you know I'll tell you about when I'm busy, why can't you do the same?"
I still don't completely understand. My head already hurts. "I haven't been that busy though. I mean, besides hanging out with Hyunjin and Minho," I explain.
"You were busy. You weren't answering my calls."
"You haven't been answering mine either," I say in a stern tone.
"Cause I thought you needed to know how I felt during the period of when you ignored me and went to Hyunjin. We were talking every single day and then suddenly you dropped me for your best friend."
"So you are upset I spent time with my best friend?"
"No, Felix. I'm upset you didn't tell me you were going to be spending more time with him. You just stopped talking to me. I got lonely."
I rub my face. I don't understand what I did wrong. I was just hanging out with my friend.
"So, you are upset I didn't tell you I was going to be hanging out with my best friend? And in return for not picking up your calls, you decide to do the same thing? How childish is that, Changbin? It was two weeks and I still contacted you. It's not like I disappeared off the face of the earth."
"You don't get it, Felix. I was waiting for your attention for two weeks. I was so on the fence. If you had told me you were going to spend time with Hyunjin, I would've told you that I love you and waited while doing my work. But because you didn't tell me I kept asking myself if I had done something wrong; did I mess up somehow?" Changbin sounds like he's getting more upset.
"Okay, I understand that. I'm sorry. I love you. But you still gave me the cold shoulder. After those two weeks ended you thought you should hurt me by avoiding me because I had accidentally done the same? I didn't mean too. It was a lack of communication on my part. Is that what you are looking for? An apology?"
"I wasn't trying to hurt you. I was trying to get it through your dense head that I was waiting for you to come to me," my boyfriend sounds upset. I'm already tired and now I have to go through with this too?
"This is ridiculous. We are arguing over something that is in the past. It's done with. Why is it bothering you so much still? We can spend all our time together now that I've made it up to Hyunjin."
"I don't want to shrug this off, Felix. I love you. I want to hear about how your day went with Hyunjin. I wanted you to call me and just talk endlessly about how much fun you had. Your happiness brings me happiness. Without you it feels bland and tiring. How am I supposed to grasp that feeling when you ignore me?"
"I didn't ignore you, Changbin," I huff out.
"I'm going to bed. Goodnight."
The call ends in a second, leaving me to stare at my ceiling in confusion. What did I do wrong?
I end up texting Jisung about everything that went down.
-He's probably just jealous. Who wouldn't be? I mean, you spent so much time away from him and with two other guys. Changbin doesn't talk a lot about it but he's very insecure. He probably was stuck in the mindset that you didn't need him or were getting tired of him. Plus, you bought rings with Hyunjin. You and Changbin don't have anything like that, right?
I bury my head into my pillow. If he is jealous why doesn't he just say it? He's so annoying. Is he really insecure? He doesn't come off as that. There's so much back and forth with us. He doesn't care that I went out with a friend, but he wants to know when I do. He's lonely and when I offer to spend time with him he rejects it.
-I'd see him after you've calmed down and taken the time to understand what he means. He'll try and see it through your view too. Both of you are in the wrong. When you drop the fingers and just accept that, you'll go back to how you were. Just take it easy and then catch him in person. He can't run from someone he loves. And he really does love you Felix. Otherwise he wouldn't be acting this way; angry because you didn't give him attention.
Jisung's right. I just need to give it a bit to settle in. I yawn and set my phone down after texting the squirrel words of thanks and a goodnight. Hopefully we aren't fighting for too long. I miss being in Changbin's arms.