More Than a Contract (mxm)

Part 16: "Nothing Worth Having Is Easy"

When I get home, after an hour of walking, the first thing I do is get a beer from the fridge, but it's difficult to open, and I'm so frustrated that even opening a beer bottle isn't easy that I end up tossing at the kitchen wall.

It shatters, spilling beer everywhere.

This is my life now.

Back in my room, I find the stupid check and tear it into a thousand little pieces, promising myself I would never let anyone buy me ever again.

Never.

I want to scream and shout and break things, but the truth is that the tears rise up, maybe because I am a little drunk, and because I'm unable to stop them, I fall into bed, crawl up in a fetal position, and cry for hours.

Then sleep takes me.

***

My phone is ringing. Crap.

I try to find it from where I am, twisted up in my covers on my bed, but I end up falling to the floor with a thud and groaning. Fuck.

I find it in my jeans, which I stripped in the middle of the night.

"Hello?" I croak.

"Hey, Remy? It's Julian."

"Oh, hi."

"Listen, are you all right? I'm just asking because... well, Jaxson is here."

"Okay..." I trail off.

"He's not great, so I'm taking care of that, but I just wanted to make sure you got home okay and everything."

I stay silent, pondering what he said. "Why do you care?"

"Because Jaxson cares."

"If he cared, he'd be calling me."

"You broke things off, didn't you? I mean, what did you expect, Remy?"

Guilt pierces my heart, but then I remember how Jaxson considers me property, which kills the guilt pretty damn fast. "I imagine he's relieved to be able to go back to normal. I haven't exactly been easy for him."

Julian sighs. "Nothing worth having is easy."

I say nothing to that.

"All right then, Remy, I hope I'll see you again soon and if not..." Pause. "If I don't see you, I want to thank you for helping Jaxson."

"Helping him? How did I do that?"

"You have no idea, and now maybe you never will, but I'll leave you now. I'm sure you have a busy day ahead." And he hangs up, the bastard.

I feel numb. It suits me just fine.

***

I expect to get some kind of termination document from Jaxson's lawyer or something, but I don't. So I just go back to my days as usual and thank god I've at least paid for the life coaching course in full.

Sam knows it's over between me and Jaxson, he was devastated when I told him, but I also told him I don't want to talk about it. He keeps insisting that we should go clubbing or whatever, but I keep saying I'd rather stay home. I need to spend some time licking my wounds before I go out there again.

One week after the blowup, Sam finally convinces me to go to KinkWorld with him because he needs me to be his wingman or whatever. I agree only on the condition that he buys the drinks and doesn't push me on anyone.

When we get there, Sam leads me directly to the VIP section, which should have been my first indication that something's off. When I realize what's happening, it's too late. Jaxson Clear is right there, sitting in his usual booth with Julian, drinking whiskey on the rocks.