This literary work is written in both English and Filipino.
This is one of my prose collections that is all about things and ideas I couldn't just share to specific person/s (that we ever loved and cherished) nor more of a like unexpressed feelings...
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I don't see myself as wise.
I don't see myself as brave.
I don't see myself as kind.
I don't see myself as lucky.
Perhaps, I am not wise, but I could only remember the discomfort feeling of letting go of things, especially things that I used to love. And later on, I choose to not play with fate again as I let things just happen in a way that—I care less.
Perhaps, I am not that brave, though I decided to face the music for a rough-and-tumble life. Where I do not put efforts to push over things that I might love to have—but if I know it's not for me, then I will not go for it any longer.
For I will only face the melody of this misery, but still, I don't want to give an ear to that emotion.
Perhaps, I am not a kind person. I just let people lay hold of my body as they let me dance in any way they want to be, where they can move nor use me. I still see my worth whereas tolerating them to make me do something makes me aware of what I may become further—more than they think of me to become.
It is for me to understand myself, to know who and what I want to be in this life.
Perhaps, I am not really lucky to have sophisticated life as if I don't have to deal with these vague things. For I could only remember how I worked hard just to have it.
For me, it was the most painful and exhausting I ever felt and experienced.
To think that there is no freedom to be me nor to have the opportunity to express—for this existence? Having this life has no sense at all.
I couldn't see myself as wise, brave, kind and lucky as if I had a choice to not fight for this chaotic life.
