This literary work is written in both English and Filipino.
This is one of my prose collections that is all about things and ideas I couldn't just share to specific person/s (that we ever loved and cherished) nor more of a like unexpressed feelings...
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I have never thought that it would be possible to get tired of yourself even while having fun.That it is still possible to feel empty and get lost. Like you are making yourself the happiest, bestest person as you cope up with the pain and traumas.
But not for a moment that this would ever come where you would also realise: It is just something very similar to running away from your fear;much the same as restricting yourself to feel something more any longer.
Somehow, I feel superior for not controlling myself to care about my surroundings, to overdo things, to over love some people and some of you might call me a reckless stupid human being for doing it.
Where I always make myself comfortably uncomfortable as long as it is about positive things that people might see me; little did they know it is only for the external.
I was a quite harsh person as I forgot to consider myself for a while.
I forgot the negative sides that are still needed to be present in order to balance my life and I feel like I am more blind with these—that being so, I just chose to have fun and refuse to live with reality or mayhaps I forget the reality.
Nevertheless, you still have to accept that you are a human being and to all intents and purposes you would still have some weaknesses. Refusing to have these makes you more weak—but honestly, being weak is fine, being weak leads you close to absolute freedom.
It sounds like indecisiveness, but when you remember all you have been through with pain that has caused you a miserable life—where I think it would be so great to call it like a 'defence mechanism'.
Well, there is no wrong with having fun at all however,
do not let this be an escape.
For you might end up being stuck or imprisoned by your faith, "having a perfect life is having fun,"
