The show must go on

Chapter 2 - interviews

Narrator POV

The hope is in vain. Today is just as stressful as yesterday. After make-up, they are driven to the radio station where they have been invited to the morning show. Normally Jade is the one who grabs the microphone and does most of the talking, especially at such an early hour - much to the girls' relief - but not today. Today she sits almost silently next to Jesy, staring into space and having to try hard to keep her eyes open.

"Jade, we heard the sad news about you and Jed. How are you holding up? Is it weird being here in LA, as it is sort of Struts territory?" the presenter asks and Perrie can hardly believe her ears. She quickly turns her head to the side to check on Jade, who makes no effort to answer.

Jesy quickly grabs her hand, which Jade also barely notices, and replies, "We don't really want to talk about it, do we?" she turns to her, eyeing her wide to elicit any response, to which Jade chisels a smile on her face and just nods without comment.

"Of course, we understand that! Let's just change the subject," the radio host continues, somewhat embarrassed, "You're finally touring the States, the American mixers have been gagging for this for ages. How do you feel?"

He looks directly at Jade, who again doesn't make an effort to answer, which is why Perrie gradually takes the floor nervously: "Of course we are thrilled and also very proud to finally be doing an American tour. Some opportunities don't come along very often, so we're ready to give everything on stage for our American fans!", to which the other girls nod with a smile.

"And how is this tour different from an European one? What do you expect?" the presenter asks further.

"Well, for starters America is huge!", Leigh-Anne answers laughing. "When we got the schedule, our eyes fell out of our faces at first. It's definitely going to be quite hectic, in between we've got a video shoot and the Brits are during the tour, so of course we have to fly back to England for a bit for that," and as she lists the schedule, Jade feels herself panicking again. She notices the oppressive headache more, she notices how dizzy she has been since she got up, how heavy her eyes are. Without warning she becomes restless, feels her breath stuck in her throat. Desperately, she clasps her sweaty hands together to somehow calm herself and tries hard not to show her discomfort on her face.

"But that's the life of a popstar and we wouldn't want it any other way!", Jesy says still euphoric and again everyone agrees smiling and nodding, except for Jade who is still trying to make her breathing look normal to the rest.

"Great! What do you guys think about playing a game?"

The other girls cheer, clapping their hands playfully, while Jesy taps Jade a little harshly to bring her back to the here and now. She just nods half-presently and tries to pull herself together, plastering the fake smile on her face again. Perrie and Jade are paired up for the game and Jade notices how Perrie keeps seeking physical contact, how she's extra nice and keeps throwing worried looks at her. But Jade just ignores that, trying hard not to let anything show and Perrie's obvious concern doesn't help. Besides, Jade wanted to stay away, not to keep falling into Perrie's eyes, to ignore the feelings until they finally disappear.

After the quiz round, they sing an acapella version of a new song. When Jade tries to sing the first note, hardly anything comes out and she realises then that she has just tried to use her voice for the first time today. And as fate would have it, she is hoarse. Her voice is so scratchy and deep that you can hardly recognise it as hers. As soon as she makes a sound, the others look over at her, first confused and then worried. Jade tries to laugh it off and shrugs her shoulders with a grin as she says, "Oops," but inside she panics again, knowing full well that not only does she not have time to be sick, but also that she just blew the performance, for her and for the other girls, and as much as she tries to smile for the cameras, she has to pull herself together not to burst into tears.