The show must go on

Chapter 35 - I'm still here

I just found out that we have readers for this story from every continent! You guys are crazy, this is fcking epic! 🤯

And by the way, I am currently working on a new story, so stay tuned for that ❤️ But now back to business

Perrie POV

The first thing I do is curse. It's the only thing I can think of, the only thing that seems like it could somehow help me keep my emotions in check.

As tears run down my cheeks, I scream loudly "Fuck!" before running to her.

I lay her on her side, remember the recovery position, check her pulse immediately. Even though I have unfortunately been forced to watch often enough, I have no idea what to even do, how to check the pulse. I just figure as long as I feel a throb, it's good. And I do feel something, albeit judged emotionally too slow, but a pulse is there.

"Get everyone out," I say to Jesy, who stands transfixed in the doorway. "And call an ambulance!"

I don't have time to pay attention to her, to care about her unmistakable state of shock, or to comfort her. Just like me, she must now function like a robot in this situation.

I automatically put my hand on her chest, like last time, and feel a heartbeat, which makes me breathe a sigh of relief. She is alive, her heart is beating, she has a pulse, she seems to be breathing. Only, what is the problem then? What is wrong with her? Why has she fainted?

I am at a loss, I don't know what to do. So I sit on the bed and just wait, useless and helpless as I feel.

Jesy comes sprinting through the door with Norma, Karl and Leigh-Anne in tow.

"The ambulance will be here in five minutes," she explains, out of breath, and I merely nod as I gaze spellbound at her unconscious figure on the bed, clutching her wrist tightly so I can always feel her pulse. It is the only thing that keeps me sane.

"Everyone has left," Karl informs me.

"What happened?" asks Leigh, distraught.

"I have no idea," I reply, because it's true and I couldn't feel more guilty about it. I've been so busy all day planning her birthday and her present that I haven't given her the attention I usually do on a daily basis. I should have kept a better eye on her. I knew the days were going to be stressful for her and also that she wasn't doing very well yesterday and yet I acted the way I did today.

"Maybe it was too much the last few days," Norma suggests. "She was very tired earlier." I nod, agreeing with her, which makes the guilt rise even higher.

When the paramedics come up the stairs it all goes very quick. They look at Jade, try unsuccessfully to address her, place her on the gurney and drag her out of the flat. They ask a few questions, all of which I seem to answer, but I don't really realise it. I'm in a trance and can't believe this is happening. To the hospital again, to the place of horror again, and that on her birthday. There has been no birthday dinner yet, no presents and I couldn't give her my present or even ask her if she wants to accept it. It doesn't matter either, it just seems trivial and insignificant to me right now. Her greatest gift would be to be healthy again or at this point...alive.