The show must go on

Chapter 29 - back on the road

Jade POV

I know I promised to be honest from now on and openly admit when I'm not well, but I'm finding that harder than it should be. In truth, this acoustic version of the tour is also much harder for me than I initially thought. It was created especially for me, it was adapted to my needs. So I demand of myself to make it through to the end. But that is easier said than done.

The first weeks on tour went much smoother. We started in Madrid and from there we travelled through half of Europe by bus. It was exhausting and took a lot out of me, but it was worth it. Most of the time we actually stay in England and I love all the British fans, no question, but to spread our wings every now and then and see how many people we've reached and moved around the world is a terrific feeling. It's indescribable. That's what we live for as musicians.

I was very afraid at the beginning that this new tour concept wouldn't go down well. That people would want to see the show they are used to. That people would want to see us complemented with lots of effects, fireworks, confetti canons and us floating through the arena. That they want to marvel at our dance moves and that they'd find this stripped back concept boring. But amazingly, that's not the case at all. Every time we take the stage and take a seat on our stools they cheer louder than I ever remember them do before.

And the reviews don't tear us apart either, as I would have expected. On the contrary. They praise us to the skies, say it's the most beautiful, emotional and bittersweet tour they ever witnessed. And they are probably right.

The fans, bless them, are great. No matter where we go, where we arrive, where we are seen, they keep their distance and cheer and greet us from afar. They seem to have taken Perrie's words of warning to heart. On the one hand, I feel very sorry for them and also for us. The fans are the best part of our lives. Seeing them, spending time with them, even if only for a few seconds, being able to hug them. It all encourages us in what we do. It shows us for what and for whom. Not being able to do that hurts us and them equally.

But on the other hand, I am also very grateful. At the moment, especially without make-up, I look like a shadow of myself, not at all worthy of being photographed. But rather, I'm glad they're so respectful of the situation, because I'm really tired whenever we meet fans these days. Mostly it's after long bus rides, which tire me out anyway. Or before shows when we get to the arena where my nervousness usually takes over, or just after shows where all I want to do is fall into bed.

Also, I have been warned several times by the doctor to be very susceptible to all kinds of germs at the moment. For this reason I keep a very low profile with contacts to the outside world, and Perrie as well. On tour we usually all get sick at some point anyway, but we don't have to provoke it.

But to my surprise, everyone else does the same. Leigh-Anne and Jesy, all the dancers and the whole crew. We all keep to ourselves, just stay in the hotel rooms, on the buses or in the arenas. And that's not really our style at all. We usually make the most of the short time we have in new or unfamiliar cities. If we have some free time during the day, we explore the city, in the evening, also often after shows, we explore the nightlife. And with a few exceptions, everyone is always there. Only Perrie and Jesy keep to themselves more often, taking more rest breaks to prepare for the shows or to recover from the stressful day-to-day touring. This quiet, reclined tour suits them more than all the rest. The rest are pretty restless and hyper, they must be quite bored by now. They're doing it all for me and I find that very hard to deal with.