The show must go on

Chapter 7 - I need them

Jade POV

The second I open my eyes in the morning, I know today is not going to be a good day. Apparently, despite all the contradictions with the doctor, I've developed a bit of an addiction to these painkillers, my body is literally crying for them. Even though the tablets mainly helped with the back pain, which, after yesterday's rehearsal, yesterday itself, the long flight and the unfamiliar bed, has completely returned, they seemed to at least block out the other problems for a while. Now not only are the back pains back, they brought most of the other symptoms with them. I open my eyes and immediately feel the migraine return. I sit up and feel cramps and wonder if they were the reason I woke up in the first place, as Perrie has stretched all fours beside me and is fast asleep. Apparently, it's five o'clock in the morning. 

Groaning, I throw the blanket off me, knowing full well that I won't fall back asleep anyway, and walk quietly into the bathroom with a pain-ravaged face. A glance in the mirror confirms exactly what I feel, so I quickly turn away.

After a long, hot shower, I look again in the now fogged mirror, hoping something has improved. But my deep dark circles and chipped, pale skin still give me away. So I apply a little concealer, even though Adam always snaps at us for it. Back in the room, I quickly slip into my beloved tracksuit and frantically rummage through my backpack for some cold pills, which must at least curb my symptoms a little.

Finally, I go to bed for an hour, as I'm still way too early, and actually just wanted to scroll through Instagram for a moment, when something catches my eye. All the Little Mix fan pages are full of photos of Perrie and I yesterday and the fans seem to be going nuts over the fact that I was wearing Perrie's hoodie. If only they knew the whole story, the whole truth. The posts make mixed emotions boil up inside me. On the one hand, these pictures make me happy. Perrie and I have swapped clothes on tour before, especially a few years ago when we shared a lot more. While it makes me happy that the fans haven't given up on us yet, it also makes me wistful because we have no chance of existing, never really had. On the other hand, it makes me grateful for Perrie's help with my little nosebleed attack, but also worried that it happened at all.

Perrie's third alarm and her loud moan as she pulls the covers off herself and trudges to the bathroom without a word ends my chaos of thoughts for the time being.

After what feels like an eternity, she emerges from the bathroom, her eyes tired, red and annoyed, and she simply fixes her hair into a messy bun.

"Good morning, sunshine," I say with a laugh, to which she just gives me a nasty look and I just laugh even harder, even though five minutes ago I didn't feel like laughing at all. But she has always had that effect on me.

"Don't get me wrong, I love touring. But why the hell do we have to get up so early?!" she asks, groaning.

"There's a lot to do," I just reply with a shrug, although I'm not exactly thrilled myself.

"Oh this jet lag is killing me," she grumbles as she rubs her tired eyes.

"Once you're on stage, you don't care about any of that," I remind her, thinking of all the great tour moments, the experiences.