The show must go on

Chapter 14 - insecurities

Perrie POV

The day is just like yesterday, only longer. I yawn about ten times per interview and long so much for the end, but it just doesn't come. The life of a pop star during promo days. It's always amazing how many shows there are to be interviewed at. I had reassigned Claude to watch Jade as the dancers were off during our promo. Most of the crew apparently went off to explore Vancouver, but Claude knows how much Jade means to me and us and how hard it is for me to leave her alone when she's not well. So he doesn't mind, at least that's what he assured me. Every break I pestered him with check calls.

Apparently she was awake more often today and was already annoyed by his presence. He said she had kicked him out of the suite at some point, which brought a smile to my face. When she finally answered the phone herself, she was outraged that I had even asked him to watch her.

When we came back to the suite in the evening, or rather at night, she was lying snuggled up on the couch with a Sudoku book in her hand. I let myself fall down next to her and kiss her tenderly and am happy to finally sit next to her again. We have been apart for the past twenty hours. Far too long, especially after all the events of the last few days. And I don't realise until I'm sitting here that I can only now finally relax a bit. All I need is her.

"Why are you still awake?", I ask quietly.

"I think I slept enough for now," she replies, giggling.

"What have you been doing all day?", I then want to know with a laugh and she eyes me incredulously. "What do you think?" she returns with a grin, but I can tell she doesn't necessarily feel like laughing. She just wants to cover up her actual feelings.

"I've been sleeping, I took a bath, did lots of Sudoku and spent way too much time on my phone," she explains tersely. I myself have avoided my phone and various social media throughout the day, simply because there was no time to pick it up. But I can imagine what is circulating on the internet right now after I had to answer numerous questions about Jade and Alex yesterday and today. Our fans and non-fans are quick.

"Anything interesting there?", I ask with half-hearted interest.

"The Jerrie accounts are going completely nuts," she replies with a worried look. "We have to be careful."

"Do we?", I ask without giving it much thought, to which I earn a stubborn look.

"I kept thinking today how easy it would be to make our relationship public right here and now," I admit cautiously. "All this questioning is getting to me. I don't want to hide or keep us a secret. I mean we talked about this. I'm proud to be with you," I declare a little more confidently now as Leigh and Jesy also know about us, waiting spellbound for Jade's answer. But none comes.

"Jade, what do you think?" I ask uncertainly again.

"I don't really know," she says quietly. "I want all that, I really do. But what about the label? They'll rip our heads off. Remember what happened last time."

"Didn't we agree that it doesn't matter anymore?", I enquire, puzzled as to where her doubts are suddenly coming from.