The show must go on

Chapter 30 - rock bottom

Perrie POV

To say the least, the night was rough. Very rough. To be honest I don't think I could have ever imagined experiencing something like that, but here we are.

"She slept through the whole show," Aaron told me as we came back to the chill room quite sweaty and tired after the show. There she was still lying on the couch with her eyes closed, still with no peaceful expression on her face. Sadly, I took a deep breath.

"Thank you for staying with her," I said sincerely to him, but he quickly waved me off. "Of course, every time."

We pondered for a long time how best to proceed. Should we wake her up? Should we just let her sleep and carry her into the car? Would we even be able to do that or would there be too many paparazzi loitering around? But she took the decision from us when she opened her eyes.

"Hi, baby," I greeted her, silencing all conversations around us. She looked at me silently and tried to smile narrowly as she sat up a bit. But quickly she stopped and held her head.

"Lie back down," I told her, but she wouldn't listen. She continued to try to sit up before I placed myself beside her to help her.

"How was the show?" she then croaked out, looking at me with such wide, tired eyes that I just hugged her tightly.

"It was okay," I explained tersely. Because what else could I say? I've learned my part, I know how unstable she is, how much her mind can go haywire if you say even one little wrong thing. If I say we missed her, she feels guilty. If I say the show was great, she thinks we're better off without her. It's hard to find the right words these days.

"Are you feeling better?", I then wanted to know. She hesitated to answer for a moment, which made me remind her, "Jade, be honest."

"I'm feeling a little nauseous," she then confessed.

"Do you think you're gonna throw up?", I echoed, but she just shook her head. "There's just the feeling of nausea that never really goes away," she explained, making me nod sadly. It's really nothing new, I'm afraid. The nausea has become a constant companion in her life.

"And otherwise?", I wanted to know further.

"I could go straight back to sleep to be honest," she admitted.

"Then we'll go straight to the hotel," I suggested.

She was adamant about wanting to walk herself and not be carried. So we complied with her request. It took forever to get to the car and by the time we were seated, she was sweatier and paler than before. 

Outside the hotel, I then hesitated. "We'll wait for the security this time," I explained to the questioning looks why I hadn't moved one bit since we were parked here. But I won't be provoked like that again, not if I could help it.

It wasn't long, however, before the door was opened by John, Jade's new private security guard. She didn't know of her luck yet.