The show must go on

Chapter 33 - the break

Jade POV

Where is Little Mix?

High-selling pop sensation Little Mix have been out of the limelight for some time now. Earlier in the year they embarked on their first headlining tour in America, which they later had to cancel due to Jade Thirlwall's increasing health issues. As a result the European leg of the tour would take place in a stripped down, acoustic version. Thirlwall cut this tour short early to return home to London and has not been seen or heard of since. The band finished the tour in May as a trio before heading off for a well-deserved holiday break. Fans were provided with plenty of holiday pictures from Leigh-Anne Pinnock and Jesy Nelson, but silence prevailed from Thrilwall and girlfriend Perrie Edwards. The band announced that they would return to the studio after their separate holidays to work on the next album, but the pop singers have not been seen or heard from for months now. It seems the band has disappeared, raising questions among fans. Is Little Mix taking a longer break or can we already speak of an unannounced hiatus? And how is Thirlwall doing?

I must have read the article twenty times since it was published. It makes me wistful and sad, it makes me feel guilty. Because it's all true. We have completely disappeared from the limelight and it's all because of me. Contrary to our hopes and expectations, the media found no boredom in learning all about me and my health after the tour. The hordes of paparazzi are still lined up outside my apartment building, making it almost impossible for me to leave the house.

 Leigh-Anne and Jesy took advantage of the time off after the last show and enjoyed their holidays. Leigh was in Jamaica for three weeks and Jesy was enjoying herself in Ibiza. Perrie and I meanwhile tried to manage the new daily routine with the new treatment method. So, while the other two provided the fans with plenty of holiday pictures, Perrie and I remained silent. There was no information from us to the outside world. We're not sharing anything, we're completely withdrawing, shielding ourselves away and I'm really finally focusing mainly on getting better.

My mum is back in South Shields. She still stayed with me during the last shows in London and also the first few days when Perrie was glued to my hip again. But she quickly realised that Perrie has it all under control and she does, after all, have a life of her own that isn't here in London. It took a lot of convincing, but in the end she listened to me and went home.

Perrie hasn't been to her house once; she literally doesn't leave my side. One day I was surprised by moving packers who brought small amounts of her belongings to my flat. Not missing, of course, were her clothes, which took up almost an entire guest room, and all her awards. She took it upon herself to distribute our awards and prizes so that no matter where you go, you have no chance but to be reminded of our success. She settled in a bit more with me, made it more homey and homely for herself, which pleased me. It also gave her something to do other than just worry about me, which was good and important for both of us.

Timed to coincide with my next treatment break, however, we then started working on the next album. Normally I liked to take the opportunity to fly to L.A. for a writing camp, but not this time, of course. I wasn't allowed to travel or fly and so we all found ourselves in the old familiar studio, together with Kamille, to get creative for the next album. Of the four of us, Leigh and I are always most absorbed in songwriting and under normal circumstances I'm bubbling over with ideas and can't wait to get into the studio to show the others everything I've been working on. But this time it's nothing like that. This time I'm so drained from my fight against the cancer that I have little to no energy left to think about anything, let alone do some good writing.