The show must go on

Chapter 9 - they know

Flashback - Perrie POV

"Girls, do you know why you're here?", someone from the label we see maybe once a year asks us. I don't even know his name.

"No," we say at the same time, which makes us smile at each other.

"There, just that," he says, and we don't understand what he means at all.

"It's come to our attention that there's a certain so called ship. "Jerrie" or something. The fans seem to be posting or editing any supposedly explicit pictures of you guys non-stop. So first the question: is there anything to it?"

"No," we both answer at the same time again, with so much conviction as we've rehearsed it so many times before, even if it is a complete lie. "We're just best friends," Jade adds as she winks at me and I wish she hadn't.

"Fine," he replies though I can tell he doesn't believe us. "Either way, it has to stop."

"What exactly?", I enquire, confused.

"Well, everything. The looks you give each other, the constant touching and hugging, just anything that makes someone think you're more than just best friends. It damages the whole band dynamic. The attention is only on you, as if the other two members don't even exist in the eyes of the fans. And that's just in a fantasy, a made-up theory. If you were really a couple, that would be the end of Little Mix. It just can't work," he explains sternly and Jade and I just sit there, transfixed, letting his words sink in.

"What's more, it seems like you're deliberately making a joke out of the rumour. Many of your fans are part of the LGBT community, how must they feel when you ridicule that you could be a same-sex couple? The whole thing is quite bad publicity and it's damaging the band. It has to stop," he continues. And his words hit the mark. There is such a finality in them, such a deep truth but also sternness and malice, that Jade and I both leave the office completely overwhelmed.

We have been trying for the last few days to carry on as if nothing is wrong and to minimise our affection in public. But the words are present all the time, I just can't forget it and neither can Jade it seems.

Together we return from the studio, sitting on the couch at my house eating pizza, when Jade finally drops her barely touched piece and looks at me sadly. And I know exactly what's coming.

"Babe, we need to talk," she says so softly and tears immediately come to my eyes.

"I know," I just reply, already rubbing my eyes.

"You can't get the words from the label out of your head either, can you?" she asks timidly, to which I can only nod.

"Are they right?" she wants to know and I see tears gathering in her eyes too, which she tries to blink away.

"Maybe a little," I admit with a heavy heart.

"Well, we kind of always knew. Otherwise we would have at least let Jesy and Leigh in on it at some point," she argues and I just nod sadly. "And it never occurred to me about the fans. We're so hypocritical...Singing about standing up for ourselves, being proud and all that while sneaking around behind everyone's back and pretending it's okay," she says upset.

"We're more like the ones from Secret Love Song. It's our story, our song," I then notice, to which she can't hold back the tears.

"We could be role models for everyone that doesn't dare to live out their sexuality in public," she then thinks aloud, but is already shaking her head herself. "Instead, we hide ourselves, from everyone we know. And that can't ever change."