A Fistful of Fat - A Big the Cat x Reader Story

Chapter 5 - The Moistening

Sonic the Hedgehog was having a terrible day. There a stinky frog in his pocket, and it was causing his penis to become moist via proximity. (Sonic preferred to keep his penis dry.) He sped down the street angrily, kicking puppies and breaking the side view mirrors off of people's cars, and punching pregnant women in the utereus, just to be an asshole. You see, Sonic the Hedgehog was just an absolute fucking sociopath. He didn't seem to have a good reason to be; he had a relatively good childhood. Sonic's horrible demeanor and overall douchebaggery was just something that could not be explained, despite my redundant and stupid attempts to do so. If you asked Sonic, he would probably blame society, or his micropenis, or Dr. Robotnik. But the reasons were a little deeper seated. This hedgehog, you see, he hated himself... he hated himself more than anything. He knew he was a son of a bitch, but he was powerless to change. In fact, he was such a bastard, that when Rogue asked him to steal Froggy, he didn't even ask why. He only did so because he knew it would make Big the Cat cry fat blubbery tears, and Big's misery brought him boundless joy.
Sonic had one good thing in his life, his beautiful and talented girlfriend, Amy Rose. So one would think, that upon seeing a big, thick, sexy hunk of squirrel crossing the street in front of him, he would just keep zooming past. But of course, he wasn't able to help himself. He came to a screeching halt.
"Sup slutbag, I'm Sonic, Sonic the motherfuckin hedgehog," he said huskily.
"Hello there, my name is Sally Acorn, and I fuck married guys just for the thrill of it. Do you happen to have a woman in your life who trusts you explicitly? For me, thats a huge turn on."
"Oh God help me, I'm gonna fuck this up so bad," Sonic thought to himself. "I sure do!" He said aloud. But internally, he was screaming. "Why? Why am I like this? Why do I hurt myself, and the ones I love? My life is an undending series of acts of self-sabotage. And anytime I have any moment of introspection, I just get kind of pissed off, and end up punching a pregnant woman. Why am I like this? Am i capable of change?" By the time he finished this thought, he was balls deep in Sally's acorn.

End of Chapter 5