A Fistful of Fat - A Big the Cat x Reader Story

Chapter 7 - War and Peish(Part 1)

The sun gently kissed Dr. Robotnik's cheeks as it crept in through the bedroom window. He yawned awake gently, and wrapped his thin spindly arms around the love of his life, Waluigi. He gingerly kissed the tip of Walugi's nose, then moved up to his forehead, where he planted another tender kiss. He then took a quick nibble on Waluigi's Spaghetti 'Stache, before a robust moustache frotting episode.
"Waaaa," Walugi replied. "Come on ,i just a wokea up. Its too early inna da morning to get frisky, Robotnik."
Robotnik chuckled gently. "All right my love. I've got to get ready for work." Robotnik got up slowly and gently; his asshole was still raw from last night, when Walugi gave him the hot piesh injection. It was cool, and every one really liked it and didn't complain about it, at all. Robotnik then of course proceeded to make breakfast. He made eggs, bacon, spaghetti (breakfast spaghetti, for Waluigi) and Pop Tarts (smores flavor.) Robotnik also poured himself a tall glass of straight vodka, pounded it down like a frat boy, and then did it 6 more times. This was his dialy ritual, and he couldnt start his day without it. "Okay my love, I'm off to the lab," he said, planting one more tender kiss on the tip of Walugigi's penis. "Wah," Waluigi replied gently.

Robotnik got into his 2005 Nissan Sentra and started whipping around turns, doing donuts, and generally endangering the life of every one on Earth, as he did every morning. On this particular morning, however, everything was about to change. "They hit the Pentagon!" He heard over the radio. He was distracted so badly by how little sense that made, that he almost forgot to crush and snort quaaludes on his dashboard while driving, another integral part of his daily morning ritual. While he was in this act, he was so distracted he didn't notice the pink hedgehog with which he was about to make contact.
An 18-wheeled truck driven by Amy Rose broadsided Robotnik's vehicle. "Get a Load of this!" She shouted angrily as she plowed into Robotnik's car. "If I kill you Eggman, than Sonic will have to love me!"
Robotnik flew through the windshield, like a used condom on a hot summer day. "Amy, you homophobe!" he cried gently. Robotnik slammed into the pavement, his head cracking like an egg.
"Get fucked Robotnik!" Any cried triumphantly, yet gently. She walked over to the limp Doctor, his body crumpled an bloodied. Also, he shit himself, and this was very obvious.
"P-please, Amy," Robotnik said, before slipping into a coma, "tell Waluigi I love h-him..."
"No," Amy said. "I'm gonna tell him you said he sucks, and his eyeshadow looks stupid, and he's the lamest and most forgettable character on the Nintendo roster except for maybe Rosalinda."
"F-fuck you, Amy..y-y-y.yy.y...y."
Then, a rustling near Eggman's anus. Something was slowly working its way down his pants leg. Something... poopy. A 5-foot tall log of shit clambered to its feet, and regarded Amy Rose gently.
"Wh-who the fuck are you?" Amy asked, incredulously.
"I'm Septic," the shitlog replied gently. "Septic the Shitlog."

End of Chapter 7