Aaron T. x Aaron Z. - One-shots

Memories

3rd person POV:

"God, I wish I could be better for you." T muttered out as Z put a blanket on him. "Mhm." He could only respond to the drunk T he was putting to sleep. "We'll talk in the morning."
-
"Just leave me! I'm so horrible to you and you just need someone better?" T screamed at Z who was in tears once again. "I never said that! I have friends and a life! I'm so sorry you just don't want me to have one!" Z screamed back before he went to grab his bag and leave the place he knew too well.
-
"Hi." T whispered when Z opened the door late at night. "Hi..." He sighed before he opened up the door more. "Come in." He told him before T did. And he spent the night as he always did after these arguments.
-
Z pushed T. "You know what?! I'm done! You can't keep doing things that will just make us worse! I'm done with this." He told the brunette before he grabbed his bag as T tried to stop him. "Look I didn't mean to kiss him!" Z rolled his eyes as he left T's apartment.
-
"I'm glad we stayed as friends." T whispered one night as they cuddled up in bed. T looked into Z's eyes. He opened his mouth but closed it. Then he spoke. "I miss you...a lot." He whispered before he then slowly leaned it for a kiss. And Z just kissed back.

-

No matter what, it had the same ending. Even if it was a different beginning with T. He knew the ending would always be the same.

Maybe it was his fault. To keep letting T show up. Maybe it was his fault for wearing T's sweater to keep his scent close for the rest of time. Maybe he hasn't gone outside for the last three weeks this time. He wasn't doing well. But he felt that he was kind of changing. He was getting better. It was good. He actually wanted to go outside. He did. A few times. And after a few months he was a little better than before.

He moved on. He didn't think of T much. He didn't cry anymore and he looked at pictures with T. Memories with T. He smiled even. It's been so long he's felt this way.

But can someone tell him how he ended up like this? Again? With his ex lover drunk in his kitchen, curled into the fetal position.

It was his fault for hearing the doorbell ringing. It was late and it was pouring out. Those were his two red flags yet he went to open the door and see his brown eyes at the entrance.

"I wanna talk." T said, his brown hair dripping water and his clothes wet from the harsh rain. And it was windy so that didn't help either. How could he turn away a wet dog?

He didn't want T to ruin this for him. To ruin all this wonderful progress he's done to heal from T. He wanted T to just stay a memory. To keep him in his past.

"Please don't make it harder than it already is." Z begged as he walked behind T who went to the kitchen, knowing where to go from all those home dates they've had.

"I'm not." T told him before he leaned against the kitchen counter. Z stood out of the kitchen and watched the other.

"Okay. If you want to talk then we'll talk. I'm tired of this. You come back. I forgive you. We're good. Then we fight. Then you come back." Z said, trying to feel calm while speaking with his ex.

"I do mess up. I'm sorry. We can stay friends. We won't ever get together again and I'll leave you alone." T said with a smile as he went to get close to Z, who stepped away.

"No. I don't want that. The last time you wanted to be friends we ended up together because you want to and I give in."

"Don't ruin this between us." T begged.

"I'm not the one who's ruining this. Ruining me." Z scoffed. "You never cared for me. You never have."

T frowned as tears started to form in his eyes. "Don't say that." He whispered. "I love you." He said before he then sat on the kitchen floor. "I'm not good for anyone. I can't make anyone happy. I'm so useless." He whispered to himself before he then curdled up in the fetal position.

"I wish you would stay in my memories."

"Can I....Stay the night?" T asked Z after a while of playing the victim.

"I can't say goodbye if you do." Z told him as he fixed himself a cup of tea. He then felt T at his feet. "Please." He begged. "T stop, you're drunk and I don't want to do this."

"Agree to let us stay as friends then." T begged as he slowly stood up to be right next to the other.

"It's hard to find an end to something that you keep beginning over and over again." Z said as he looked into T's eyes. "No matter what we promise to each other. The ending always stays the same."

"Let's stay toge-"

"We can't! There's no good reason to believe that we could ever exist again!" Z yelled, his hands shaking as his throat closed up from holding back his sobs. "I can't be your friend! I can't be your lover! I can't be the reason we hold each other back from falling in love!" He yelled before he then to his own room to start packing up a bag of T's things. The brunette right behind him.

"I want you to stay in my memories but as always you show up just to ruin things!"

"But we're meant for each other." The other argued.

"I want to put you in the past! I'm fucking traumatized because of you! You're not letting me move on! So I'm going to make you." Z said before he threw the black plastic bag to T. "Since you came I'll let you stay."

T had this hopeful look on his face.

"For as long as it takes to grab your books and your coat." Z told him as he crossed his arms. "And that one good cologne you bought when we were fighting."

Z could smell the cologne on the shirt he let T borrow while they were fighting. He smelled it whenever he missed him during this longer break. He sobbed, making his whole body shake. He was barely surviving but his scent was still here with him. It only made him feel like dying.

"I can't be with you anymore. I just fucking can't with you!" Z screamed before T grabbed his wrists. "No Z, you can't. Come on. I know I've fucked up but I love you."

They fought for the whole night until Z was able to get T to pack his things and leave. Z sobbed as he leaned against the front door. He finally felt as if he let go of T. As if T was now a part of his memories. And he was going to stay that way.

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angst, yay.

hope you enjoyed! <3