The first couple chapters might not be written well, but it does get better as the book goes on.
I've edited most again.
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Stared: April 9th, 2022
Finished: May 22nd, 2023
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3rd person POV:
Aaron T always knew.
Every word, every look, every touch, and every kiss that came from Aaron Z wasn't genuine. The feelings were never real. Everything they did together was fake.
He always knew.
He knew that Z didn't actually care about him. He knew that Z did not love him. He knew that he was just using him. He knew that Z loved someone else.
He knew that Z knew, too.
Every word, every look, every touch, and every kiss that came from T wasn't genuine. The feelings were never real. Everything they did together was fake.
Well, that's how things were in the beginning.
Z thought T didn't actually care about him, too. He thought that T did not love him, too. He thought T was just using him, too. Z thought he loved someone else, too.
Because that's all it should've been.
It was an agreement. They both get what they want, both get what they miss. They use each other, just to get rid of the painful desire in them. They wanted to get out of their desperation.
So they used each other.
And it was fine. It was nice talking, it was nice staring, it was nice touching, and it was nice kissing. It was all nice. They felt satisfied. Spending long nights together, and waking up in each other's arms.
They felt happy.
But the feelings. The feelings were never real. There was no actual love between the two. Their words were always empty, they held no special meaning. Their eyes held something different when they stared, it was not love. Their touches were delicate, but never meant a single thing. Their kisses were nothing but for their own pleasure.
T found a home in every single person he has met. He's seen everyone's good, not bothering to worry over their bad. He's always felt the need to just become extremely close with people. He's never been alone.
He knew Z was the complete opposite of him. Z hates social interactions, he doesn't like talking and making friends, he would much rather stay locked up in his room than going out to parties and meeting new people.
He never thought he would ever fall for him.
And as T wakes up in the morning, he feels hurt.
So hurt.
They were never supposed to get attached. never supposed to fall in love. Never supposed to have real feelings behind their actions.
And as T bursts into tears, he remembers the words Z told him the night before.
"We're not lovers, T. We're just strangers who are both too desperate to feel loved."
